Day 12.... wow
Hi everyone and I must first say thank you to those who reached out to me while I've been away from DS! I signed up to get emails when someone posts a message, hug, friend request, etc and was so humbled to hear from many of you this last week! Thank you so much and will work on sending a message back tomorrow when I get home from work.
Day 12 of sobriety. What I'm excited about is that I had ample opportunity to drink this last week. I faced going out with friends that drink, a very stressful situation with a kitty of mine AND a major blow to my pride came out in my pending divorce.
A week ago today I realized that my kitty cat Cheeto was very ill and I had to hospitalize him for 3 days with x-rays, blood work and IV fluids. Long story short we believe it was the stress from my recent move and he just couldn't handle it.
Last Saturday I went to a local wine and cheese restaurant and ordered a glass of wine, fully intending to drink it (plus maybe one to two more) and only took 2 sips. It just didn't taste good and I wondered if I may be coming down with some type of cold, or flu (no laughing, LOL). I left the majority of a $9.00 glass behind. I then had dinner (the same day) with a best galfriend and ordered tonic and lime. The following day was the big football game - my favorite team won and is going to the super bowl. I was at my folks home, returned booze they brought the weekend before back to them unused, and "tried" to drink a margarita. I did take about 4 sips, and took everyone's advice and made sure I had a tonic and lime and food nearby.
A call from my lawyer came - my soon to be X-husband had turned in his sworn financial statement (basically a detailed ledger of his finances). Long story short he's sitting on over 1/4 million dollars in clear assets and monthly bills are paid with over 2K left over. It is a very good possibility that he's been sending the "slush" to a mistress or lover as he will not account for where the money has been going. The problem is when we were together, I was trusting him with my paycheck (8 years worth). So, most likely he's been paying for his mistress with my money.
So, 48 hours later I returned to pick up my kitty from the hospital.... and was finally ALONE for the weekend. Thank goodness. I headed straight to the liquor store and bought a traveler of vodka.
I poured myself a tall one, went to take that first amazing sip and the strangest thing happened. As I held the glass up to my lips (literally touching) I had the clearest thought...... "I don't have to do this anymore".
I dumped the $10 worth of cheap vodka right then and there.
I don't know if this is too good to be true, or just a passing phase, but I'm encouraged. It's a first for me, and a glimmer of hope.
Thank you again everyone for reaching out to me - it's been a busy week and I am making a personal goal to check in everyday again.
Be well, be happy.
Day 12 of sobriety. What I'm excited about is that I had ample opportunity to drink this last week. I faced going out with friends that drink, a very stressful situation with a kitty of mine AND a major blow to my pride came out in my pending divorce.
A week ago today I realized that my kitty cat Cheeto was very ill and I had to hospitalize him for 3 days with x-rays, blood work and IV fluids. Long story short we believe it was the stress from my recent move and he just couldn't handle it.
Last Saturday I went to a local wine and cheese restaurant and ordered a glass of wine, fully intending to drink it (plus maybe one to two more) and only took 2 sips. It just didn't taste good and I wondered if I may be coming down with some type of cold, or flu (no laughing, LOL). I left the majority of a $9.00 glass behind. I then had dinner (the same day) with a best galfriend and ordered tonic and lime. The following day was the big football game - my favorite team won and is going to the super bowl. I was at my folks home, returned booze they brought the weekend before back to them unused, and "tried" to drink a margarita. I did take about 4 sips, and took everyone's advice and made sure I had a tonic and lime and food nearby.
A call from my lawyer came - my soon to be X-husband had turned in his sworn financial statement (basically a detailed ledger of his finances). Long story short he's sitting on over 1/4 million dollars in clear assets and monthly bills are paid with over 2K left over. It is a very good possibility that he's been sending the "slush" to a mistress or lover as he will not account for where the money has been going. The problem is when we were together, I was trusting him with my paycheck (8 years worth). So, most likely he's been paying for his mistress with my money.
So, 48 hours later I returned to pick up my kitty from the hospital.... and was finally ALONE for the weekend. Thank goodness. I headed straight to the liquor store and bought a traveler of vodka.
I poured myself a tall one, went to take that first amazing sip and the strangest thing happened. As I held the glass up to my lips (literally touching) I had the clearest thought...... "I don't have to do this anymore".
I dumped the $10 worth of cheap vodka right then and there.
I don't know if this is too good to be true, or just a passing phase, but I'm encouraged. It's a first for me, and a glimmer of hope.
Thank you again everyone for reaching out to me - it's been a busy week and I am making a personal goal to check in everyday again.
Be well, be happy.
Replies
I am so sorry to hear about Cheeto. I have 2 kitties too and they are my babies. There is really nothing like the humming purr of a kitty on your chest to make you feel good.
Your divorce sound very complicated. I cannot believe your hubs used your money on his mistress. Disgusting.
I truly hope you get every penny back.
I highly recommend watching, \"First Wives Club.\"
It might make you smile.
Hugs, Nikki
Also, Eat, Pray, Love\" by Elizabeth Gilbert is a must, if you haven\'t already read it.
That\'s freaking awesome. You are amazing! I hope your kitty is okay. I have 2 cats and we are planning to move from WV to FL. I also have 2 dogs. I am worried too that the stress of a move will be too much for one or all of them.
I read a book called My Lush Sobriety by Sacha Scoblic . It was pretty cheap on amazon. I found it a good read for this early stage of sobriety. Funny too. Since City is throwing suggestions out there. Thought I would too. I\'m about to play a audio book called : Drinking: a love story.
I bet I could share that. I put it on dropbox. I could share that folder if anyone wants to listen too. I will offer that option in my journal today.
ANYWAY..... You stay awesome.
We rock!!! Oh yes we do. Susan I am so happy for you and proud of you. Your journal entry made me smile and I had tears of joy in my eyes... Your strength is coming through. As Mags said, you stay awesome!!!!