Day 11 morning
Yesterday I came home, exercised, wrote in my journal and then made a dinner of sweet potato, swiss chard and a pork loin. It was delicious. Then I promptly fell asleep which my body must have really needed. Feeling good this morning. Need to keep my journal short so I can slip breakfast in before I leave for work today.
The mornings are starting to have some routine to them...still a bit formless, but taking shape.
I did do one thing that I think will be helpful to me, and that is I hired a lawn service to come out and do the real physical part of the yard that was needed. Weedeating and cutting back ivy and blackberries...that kind of thing. They came out yesterday and did what would have taken me weeks to do. By the time, I get from one side of the acre to the other, the part I started with is ready to be done again. They did it in just a couple hours. They'll be back today to rake up and haul away what they did last night. It's brought the yard to its bare bones.
I had already mowed and the garden is in good shape. Now I can do things like plant the planters. Trim the roses and lilacs. Maybe some rototilling for some new flower beds. That kind of thing. The whole yard at this time felt overwhelming. To call and give that over to someone else was hard, but it took away a stress and opened it up to being a really fun thing for me. What's not to love about planting flowers? Hoeing a garden?
Goals: The basic: water, food, exercise and breathe. When you get home tonight, the landscapers will be done and you can take that in. No liquor stores. I don't drink. I don't fall for things like 'just stop and get a fifth, you can drink just a couple drinks'. It's not true. I don't fall for 'but you're really tired, it'll help you relax and you'll sleep really well'. It's not true. Whatever I can think to tell myself about alcohol being helpful to me is false. I do not drink. I have a path, a course I have set myself upon and I will hold true to it. I am the tree. I am not the leaves.
The mornings are starting to have some routine to them...still a bit formless, but taking shape.
I did do one thing that I think will be helpful to me, and that is I hired a lawn service to come out and do the real physical part of the yard that was needed. Weedeating and cutting back ivy and blackberries...that kind of thing. They came out yesterday and did what would have taken me weeks to do. By the time, I get from one side of the acre to the other, the part I started with is ready to be done again. They did it in just a couple hours. They'll be back today to rake up and haul away what they did last night. It's brought the yard to its bare bones.
I had already mowed and the garden is in good shape. Now I can do things like plant the planters. Trim the roses and lilacs. Maybe some rototilling for some new flower beds. That kind of thing. The whole yard at this time felt overwhelming. To call and give that over to someone else was hard, but it took away a stress and opened it up to being a really fun thing for me. What's not to love about planting flowers? Hoeing a garden?
Goals: The basic: water, food, exercise and breathe. When you get home tonight, the landscapers will be done and you can take that in. No liquor stores. I don't drink. I don't fall for things like 'just stop and get a fifth, you can drink just a couple drinks'. It's not true. I don't fall for 'but you're really tired, it'll help you relax and you'll sleep really well'. It's not true. Whatever I can think to tell myself about alcohol being helpful to me is false. I do not drink. I have a path, a course I have set myself upon and I will hold true to it. I am the tree. I am not the leaves.
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