Day 11 evening
Congarich reminded me I'm in double digits. I hadn't even thought about it until then. That's something more to celebrate.
I made it through today. So tired in the afternoon. The tiredness really is wearing. It will pass. I need to be patient. I came home walked the dogs, ate dinner, watched a little tv and then took a nice hot bath. I'm going to write here and then maybe bike for 25 mintues....or I may not...I may rest instead. Exercising though can give me a little energy maybe. I'll play it by ear.
Challenge today was at lunch time. I went to a restaurant near my work forgetting that their liquor serving area is right next to where you wait for your to go order. I must have eyeballed those liquor bottles for a good minute. I just couldn't pull my eyes away. Finally I did and let my thoughts go to other things. It just in that moment hooked me. I was not expecting it. Such is life. It probably won't be the only time it happens.
So I have an app stop drinking app. It counts the days but that really isn't the part I like. I like the day counter on this site. What it does do when you double tap the screen is give you a anon quote or a famous teetotaler....there's unlimited amounts of quotes. At lunch time I read my journal to remind myself of what I want and then when I get home at night, I'll read a few quotes from this app.
One of the quotes tonight said you must work to be sober. It is a full-time job requiring full effort. It said to remind yourself throughout your day of your goals and what you want. I do that, but it also said to have gratitude for each day you remain sober. I haven't done that. I have to think on that. Maybe I'm not to that point yet. It all still seems a struggle. Something to think on...having gratitude...there could be a freedom in that at some point....could there be freedom in that now? I don't know.
I don't drink. I have a goal of making a life change. My life can be more than racing to the liquor store before it closes. My life can be more than a bottle. My life can be more than deciding to forego the first two liquor stores only to stop at the third or to pass up all 5 and then drive out of my way to stop at the 6th. The days I would forego all of them and get up and drive immediately to the one that opened at 9 the next morning. I don't want that. That is not the life I want. It is not the life I choose. At the lunch today, I was the tree, not the leaves. Maybe if I write I am grateful for that, I'll become grateful. I am grateful I did not drink today.
I made it through today. So tired in the afternoon. The tiredness really is wearing. It will pass. I need to be patient. I came home walked the dogs, ate dinner, watched a little tv and then took a nice hot bath. I'm going to write here and then maybe bike for 25 mintues....or I may not...I may rest instead. Exercising though can give me a little energy maybe. I'll play it by ear.
Challenge today was at lunch time. I went to a restaurant near my work forgetting that their liquor serving area is right next to where you wait for your to go order. I must have eyeballed those liquor bottles for a good minute. I just couldn't pull my eyes away. Finally I did and let my thoughts go to other things. It just in that moment hooked me. I was not expecting it. Such is life. It probably won't be the only time it happens.
So I have an app stop drinking app. It counts the days but that really isn't the part I like. I like the day counter on this site. What it does do when you double tap the screen is give you a anon quote or a famous teetotaler....there's unlimited amounts of quotes. At lunch time I read my journal to remind myself of what I want and then when I get home at night, I'll read a few quotes from this app.
One of the quotes tonight said you must work to be sober. It is a full-time job requiring full effort. It said to remind yourself throughout your day of your goals and what you want. I do that, but it also said to have gratitude for each day you remain sober. I haven't done that. I have to think on that. Maybe I'm not to that point yet. It all still seems a struggle. Something to think on...having gratitude...there could be a freedom in that at some point....could there be freedom in that now? I don't know.
I don't drink. I have a goal of making a life change. My life can be more than racing to the liquor store before it closes. My life can be more than a bottle. My life can be more than deciding to forego the first two liquor stores only to stop at the third or to pass up all 5 and then drive out of my way to stop at the 6th. The days I would forego all of them and get up and drive immediately to the one that opened at 9 the next morning. I don't want that. That is not the life I want. It is not the life I choose. At the lunch today, I was the tree, not the leaves. Maybe if I write I am grateful for that, I'll become grateful. I am grateful I did not drink today.
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