Day 100, morning

Today is day 100.  A part of me wants to look forward.  If I continue in the way that I am, making changes, attempting to tip the balance, looking inside, I wonder how I will feel in a year or a year and a half...how will I feel mentally...how will I feel bodily....I'm excited to know.  Another part of me looks ahead and asks how likely it is I can keep this going,  I wonder how I will feel over the next year, mentally, bodily, at what point will I throw in and say forget it and just drink because I can, because it's easy, because it's habit, because I know it so well.  I pull back on both lines of thought.  Today is today.  I will not drink today.  It is day 100 and I'll take that.
I met my N5 goal by studying grammar and responding in Japanese to an email from one of my language learning partners regarding an English grammar point.  It feels good to work on this and at the same time, I don't feel I've hit my groove yet.  Hopefully in time...
I've been enjoying playing piano and meditating now and again as I feel/want to.  
Tonight is blue belt class.  This will be a tough night to go, as I'm already thrown off today by getting up early and getting back into the swing of work.  My goal will be to go regardless of how I feel before because I know I'll feel better afterwards.  Just go.  It is day 100 after all.  A good incentive to go, a celebration, an affirmation.
Today is day 100.  I am committed to making a life change.  I am beginning to tip the balance.  I do not drink today.  I will look at meeting my goals for today and today only.  Tomorrow is tomorrow.  I am the tree, not the leaves.  I am the mountain.  It is day 100, and I will come out of this day solid.