Day 1...the beginning

Just set my first goal in an effort to learn how to achieve more (okay, any) positivity and peace in terms of living my daily struggle with chronic pain. My mind says one thing but my heart feels another -- as hard as I try to think positively and "choose" to be happy...I can' actually do it. Trust me when I say that it is not from lack of effort because if the level of my true effort could be measured you would have to create an entirely new system of measurement to understand the sheer exhausting amount of effort I put towards this. If all ears to anyone and anything that can help me do better!