Day #1- Success!

For months now, I have known I have a gambling problem.  I have admitted the problem to my husband, who loves me and immediately forgives me, as he feels we both have contributed to our financial problems as he has liked gambling on the weekends in the past together with me.  Those weekend gambling stints always ended with us both out of control and blowing more money than we should have. The real problem began when I started playing during the day while he was at work, and my daughter is in school, prior to my work hours in the afternoon, evening time.  My husband has putting his gambling ways behind him, finding a new hobby (collecting coins) that keeps him entertained.  I own a very successful business, and without anyone having a clue, I have financially have put that business at risk because of my problem.  If I think of the money lost, it just makes me want to gamble more to try to win back what I have lost and redeem myself.  Because I own a business, I don't feel I can tell a friend or family member my problem and have them hold me accountable...I am too worried they will tell someone, and I would risk losing clientele.  I have tried to quit...going 1, then 2, then 3 days, sometimes even 4 or 5 days without gambling- then I will have a day alone, and extra time on my hands and that night I hate myself for giving into temptation.  I found this website last night, and feel already like a new person.  I kept myself busy today, and had a few brief urges to go play, but then I thought of this website and how I wanted to post success, not failure.  I am thrilled to make it through the 1st day, and hopefully will be posting day 2 as success tomorrow night.  I think my biggest struggle now, is trying to pay the bills, and fight the feeling that somehow gambling would help to do that.  I keep telling myself, I can't win it back...I have to earn it back.