Day 1.. 3rd July 2018

Hello my names Ruby I’m 19 and I’m living with a terrible illness’s by the name of Lupus and aps I’m trying to find some support and friends to talk to about these illnesses and I don’t open up that much usually but here’s what’s happening in my head today.

Today I’m trying to figure out why is it always me that has multiple problems I ask myself this question everyday I now have ,life long problems in my marriage and problems with my new illnesses. Why have I at 19 discovered I have lupus and aps. Three recurring misscariges one more painful and heartbreaking after the other.

each day is a struggle and no one understands or cares how I feel. I’m the only one to have to face my battles on my own no ones asks how I am today or am I feeling ok? No I’m in agony with my mind and body. I feel alone with nobody to talk or turn to I’m in deep depression with every problem being Newley diagnosed in March my heads still in a whirlwind of so many questions but not getting any answers. I long for a baby for 3 years but my heart just broke when I lost one after the other I’m still trying to have hope but it’s gets weaker by the day.