Day 1 - 08/06/2014
I will forever remember this feeling. I am ANGRY. How did I let my life go?!?!?!?!?!?! Why did I allow this to change me in all aspects - attitude, relationships, parenting, my appearance?! NOT ANYMORE!!! I am sick of these relapses. My motto going forward "Doing ME". I know it sounds selfish because it is selfish. I need to be focused on myself right now so I can figure out what I am going to do going forward. I was at 32 days on Aug 1 and I knew I would have my surplus of money. I was up $400 day one. I had to keep going until my last $1. I ended up losing $1,175 in 6 days. I am irritated with myself, but sick enough this will be the thing that will keep me away for good.
I WILL NEVER WIN! I am SOOOO FAR DOWN I will never break even. I need to get through my thick skull and just move on and live life. I have a unique opportunity this month to get back into shape. I am going to re-kindle my marriage even though so much damage has been done. I am going to stay mad at myself so I can use it as fire to never do this again.
I am going to replace gambling with eating ONLY good food and exercising 24/7. No more Mr. Nice Guy, its time "TO DO ME".
I WILL NEVER WIN! I am SOOOO FAR DOWN I will never break even. I need to get through my thick skull and just move on and live life. I have a unique opportunity this month to get back into shape. I am going to re-kindle my marriage even though so much damage has been done. I am going to stay mad at myself so I can use it as fire to never do this again.
I am going to replace gambling with eating ONLY good food and exercising 24/7. No more Mr. Nice Guy, its time "TO DO ME".
Replies
Well, its you and I again. I\'m sorry for your relapse, I understand how you feel, but, the good news is, you can do this.
It Is You And I. I Will Be Here For You. I Am Sorry We Have To Go Through ThIs Pain Together :(
The Dynamic Duo! Together you two can beat the addiction that is trying to kill you! I know you guys can do this! Life is so good without gambling. Break free! Set up more good road blocks! Make a plan and stay here with us! You can do it! Hugs! Cher
I was wondering where you have been as well! Sorry to hear you have had a relapse too :-( You are married - looks like she is with you for better or worse, just like my husband. Give everything you have to make it work. If you love her, do this for her. My husband said the most God awful thing to me the last night I binged out and didn\'t come home and I know it was because he was worried, but it hurt me so bad and I never want those words spoken to me again. We had the best marriage ever and I couldn\'t bear losing him. Gambling is NOT worth it. I am using every ounce of energy and willpower I have to fight this fucking addiction to save the happiest thing in my life! I know you can do this! Focus on your happy times and if your marriage isn\'t happy, maybe you have to assess what is important in life and adjust. I know some people gamble to escape misery and that is their home life. Mine was other things like my job and not being able to do things I want - it was never my husband. He tried his hardest to make me happy and give me want I want, but I never thought it was enough and that was my own internal issues. I have re-evaluated now and am focused on putting the job on back burner and my marriage and our \"fun time\" first! I hope you find a similar plan - this was one setback - just don\'t let it happen again, mister! LOL! Much love, Naynee
I like that Cherbear - The Dynamic Duo! That is awesome! They totally will get this and pull through this! I have complete faith. If I can do this in this damn freaking state where gambling slaps you in the face everywhere you go, I know my Dynamic Duo can! LOL!