Dating Someone In A Polygamous Marriage
So, you’ve met someone you’re very interested in. There’s only one thing about them you’re unsure about: They’re a polygamist, and you’ve only ever known monogamy. What do you do? We’re here to help you figure out if a polygamous marriage is right for you. Sister Wives
Understanding What Polygamy is
Though the most popular form of polygamy involves one husband with multiple sister wives, that doesn’t apply to all polygamists. That form is known as polygyny. Its opposite form, where one woman has multiple wives, is called polyandry. Contrary to what you may think, polygamy is not simply an open marriage, and it is not a dictatorship. Though one person is married to multiple people, theirs is not the only opinion matters in the group. The decision to take another spouse is typically discussed as a group. If the number of other partners they have or plan to have matters to you, be sure to initiate a conversation with them about this before you get in too deep. Sister Wives Dating
Think About What You Want
Picture your life 5, 10, even 20 years from now. You may have already pictured this multiple times, but probably not with a polygamous version of yourself. But are the two versions really that different? Say you pictured yourself living in a house with two children and have a healthy marriage. You won’t have to sacrifice those things if you choose to marry into polygamy. Like the beginning of any relationship, you will have to have these conversations with the person you’re dating to be sure your futures and goals line up. If you decide to not go through with the relationship, no one will hold that against you. Just be sure you’re open and honest about where your head is at, too. You expect that from them, so be sure to provide the same courtesy. Sister Wife
Even though polygamy is illegal in many countries including the US, that doesn’t mean you can’t have the wedding ceremony of your dreams. Though you won’t be legally married to them, that doesn’t mean you can’t call each other husband and wife. Know that polygamists date to marry. So if marriage isn’t in the cards for you yet (or ever) then it may be best to not continue the relationship. Also, keep in mind that the poly community continues to fight and make progress toward the legalization of poly marriages in the not-so-distant future. Polygamy Dating Website
Prepare Yourself to Confront Your Insecurities
We know what your biggest concern is: Dealing with jealousy. Jealousy in a poly relationship is something all sister wives and partners have had to deal with. In monogamous relationships, people often don’t deal with their own insecurities before committing to each other, which can create a strain on their relationship. These internal issues often lead to things like codependency and making your partner the sole source of your self-worth. Which can lead to the two people breaking up, even though they would have been great together if they knew how to deal with these insecurities before getting serious. This is where people can learn a lot from poly relationships. Polygamy Matchmaking
We’re not saying it’s impossible for these things to happen in polygamous marriages, but it’s far less likely. Why? Because poly people know going into it that they have to be as open as humanly possible with their future family. Your spouse will respect and love you, but they won’t replace your need for individual internal growth, and you won’t replace theirs. The growth and compassionate communication skills developed as a polygamist are skills that every human need. While being poly is obviously not the only way to develop these traits, it certainly provides motivation to do so - and a built-in support system! Poly Dating Website
Get to Know Their Spouse(s)
In a monogamous relationship, there’s only one new personality to adjust to. Joining a poly family means you’ll have to get used to life around multiple personalities. Understand that some partners may not want to meet you right off the bat. Not because they won’t accept you, but because they’re aware that your mind isn’t made up about polygamy, so they may not want to overwhelm you or get too attached themselves. This isn’t always the case, but something to be aware of nonetheless. However, this doesn’t mean you can’t ask about them. Let your boyfriend or girlfriend be the delegate between you. That way, you’ll know a little about each other when you do meet.
If you’re seriously leaning towards pursuing a polygamous marriage, it’s time to meet your future sister wives. If you aren’t fond of that term, know that you don’t actually have to call each other that. You can come up with terms you’re comfortable with. Or, feel free to not have an official name for the bond between you. Know that you may not become best friends just because you share a spouse, but that doesn’t mean you can’t care about and respect each other. Go into the introduction with reasonable expectations, but be honest with yourself about what you can and can’t live with.
Never commit to anything that will make you unhappy in the long run or expect your partner to leave their spouse and pursue monogamy with you. If you decide to pursue a polygamist, know that you must be open and honest with any fears or hesitations you may have. And vice versa, if a polygamist decides to pursue you knowing that you have only ever know monogamy, they must show you the same consideration and patience you show them. It’s important to ask questions and have the poly person educate you.
Many times in life, great risk results in great reward. Date at a speed you’re comfortable with and don’t tolerate any pressure. Also don’t give up on a person you feel a special connection to just because you’re scared. All successful relationships require growing individually and together. Know that the choice of whether that relationship is polygamous is ultimately yours, but you owe yourself the opportunity to consider it if you hadn’t before. It may seem scary, but it could also be the greatest decision of your life!