Dating sites... I'm SO not ready.

Last night on the spur of a moment, I went online and filled out a profile.   And immediately encountered feelings of guilt, self-confidence issues, insecurity especially about my weight.  I MEANT my marriage vows, even though I filed for divorce.  I still miss the person he was and feel like dating again would be a betrayal... and right now I can't get past that.   And on top of that, being where I am right now physically, I DON'T feel attractive.  During my grief over my marriage, I started letting myself slide worse than I already was and it shows.  One of my last hiking photos was a bit of a wake up call.   UGH.  How can I EVEN think about dating when I'm so dissatisfied with myself?
And this morning, I turned on the computer and the first suggested match is someone with sex issues (fetishes).  EVERY LINE in his profile referred to that.  Really?  I don't believe I put that in my profile as something important.  UGH.  THAT was a complete turn off.  
I think I've got alot more work to do on myself before I move further into this.  I'm gonna need a year - maybe 2, to get myself back in line, physically AND emotionally.  UGH.   LATER!