Darn Titles

Am having quite a day.  The clonazepam helped a little bit with sleep...still had the initial insomnia but I eventually put on some music and I think I feel asleep before the cd was over...so I know that's better then the way things were the previous nights.  I did wake up at 4am but only briefly and fell back to sleep not waking up again until about 11am.   I'm having one of those days where the stupidest things are making me cry but at the same time I feel more functional then I have in a long time and not so grossed out by some of the things that really grossed me out.  More neutral but slightly zombie-ish.  I did end up having to take an extra dose of the clonazepam through the day as I was having trouble with anxiety and thoughts of self harm. I didn't meet my getting dressed goal or activity goals today but I feel like I accomplished some other things instead and it's okay if I miss the other goals once in awhile.  It's kinda sad but tonight was the first time in probably 3+ years that I've had it in me to peel potatos and make mashed potatoes...and yes even that made me cry.  My roommate left some salad for me but I also added some of my own things to it too which I don't often do.  It sounds pitiful...but it is what it is.   I finished reading a book.  I worked on a swap that I'm doing online through swap-bot and blogger.  I actually started and finished it all today.  I also came up with a new idea for rearranging the living room and am thinking of different things I can do to rearrange my room.  That task is going to be a little more difficult since a major cleaning job still needs to happen.   I need to put more things up for sale on kijiji but I haven't felt up to that quite yet, and I need to readjust some of the prices.  My nephew is trying to sell his ipod and I told him if I can scrounge together enough money before someone else buys it that I will definitely buy it from him.  I had a little conversation with him yesterday about not being there for him much while he was growing up...because he always used to ask if I was coming over but I often let him down and I've often felt guilty about it...but he said he doesn't even really remember and that it's okay.  He was pretty young at the time...so I do believe he's more or less forgotten...but I still wish I could make it up somehow.  Anyway...I think I'm gonna have a movie night.  Or maybe read another book.  Just something low key.  I know I'm already falling behind on commenting on journals...I'm just having a really hard time focusing on much right now.