Darn it
Haven't written for a while but thought I would today. It has been over a year now since loosing my son and there are times that it feels like it was yesterday and other times it feel so long ago. I miss him so much. We just got back from California on a vacation with my daughter and her family and it was one of the best weeks I have had for a long time. But once I get home that heart ache returns and the feeling of emptness returns. I have such a wonderful family of which I love very much and it is the one thing that keeps me here. Still hoping for much better times.
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I hear you loud and clear. While I continue to have so much to be grateful for (two wonderful surviving daughters; loving, supportive husband; large supportive extended family; health; comfortable income etc.), I keep wondering when/if it will get better and this enormous hole in my heart called Corrie will stop dominating my every waking ~ and sleeping ~ moment.
My husband and I also had a glorious vacation traveling around the Southwest recently and the photos of the trip say we are \"normal\" happy people enjoying a summer holiday. And yet, and yet...
I need constant distractions ~ reading, music, movies, reading, long drives ~ but at the end of the day, the sadness still hurts so badly.
It\'s been a little over a year for both of us and I choose to trust those who are two or three or 15 years down the road from us that the happy times will grow stronger and longer and the days of feeling desolate will abate ~ we need to hold on and be patient with ourselves.
Sending tight hugs ~ Debbie, Corrie\'s Mom
It does have a constant effect on us....no matter where we are in this we will always have that ache...I do have better days now and pray that God will hold me tightly...and my precious Brandon. If it wasn\'t for my faith in God and being comforted by His still small voice....I do not think I could make it. I am so glad you had some temporary relief...we must do that for ourselves....whatever it takes to be distracted for however long. Thank you for posting....I was thinking about you the other day.....love and hugs...dale, brandon\'s mom
I am glad you went on a mini vacation in California when it took your mind off a little bit. Yes, reality sucks. But a little break is good as well.
Be gentle and loving to yourself... he wants you to be happy.
hugs... and love.