darkness
I sit in darkness on a beautiful sunny day. i feel as though there is no hope i am held in this room by something i do not understand why cant i just move and function I have so much to do but i am immobilized. If i could only understand what triggered this bout of darkness i could move on. i dont know what the trigger is this time i thought yesterday was bad but today is much worse.....why can't i just stop! I go outside and i cant breath....i go to the kitchen and i cant breath. I did push myself to go to work today and act as normal as possible, but i only worked for 5 hours this morning. i do have to go back to work tonight for a couple hours then tom morning again for 5 and tom night for 5 i am trying not to think about tomorrow.....how am i going to get through all this how am i going to fix everything and handle everything....i am trying to just keep breathing.....i am throwing up not because i am physically ill but because i am so overwhelmed i am sick to my stomach i dont understand where this is all coming from. i know if i dont move around and do stuff i wont be able to sleep tonight....my job is very stressful. our money situation is very stressful....the estate stuff is very stressful....my husbands porn addiction is very stressful as are all his lies....my kids are stressful......the houses that are suppose to be taken care of are very stressful.... i cant be the person everyone expects me to be right now and that is very stressful.....I take care of people, it is my job, literally, to take care of people when they are at their worst, and i do my best to take care of them. but there are somethings that cannot be fixed, that no matter what i do or say will make the situation better. what my family doesnt understand is i do enough at work i cant fix things here anymore....
Replies
A lot of people are asking a lot of you. I\'ve been down to where you are. Those are valid emotions. The way you feel is not some fluke, or just in your head. You aren\'t going crazy, and you aren\'t alone.
Relax your stomach. Deep breath into your belly, lean back and stretch out your diaphragm and your rib cage, and say screw it as you exhale. Repeat.
You can get through this.
Your needs are not being well met. This has to become a priority. Begin to arrange your life in a way that MEETS YOUR NEEDS -- even if you should feel you somehow do not deserve a good life you MUST CARE WELL for yourself. Do the \'Fake it until you can MAKE IT.\' Fake a good life until it feels normal. Write down your priorities and schedule in some ME TIME to nurture and care well for yourself, even if this seems to be taking away needed time given to someone else. YOU HAVE TO be the PRIORITY until you can get feeling better. Eat well and keep very well hydrated. Sometimes when we are depressed and under too much stress we forget the basics of living well, especially if we somehow do not feel we deserve to live well. Start arranging your time in a schedule and give your needs priority. Eliminate anything that is not a MUST DO until you can feel better and more balanced and in control. Take time to simply BREATHE and relax with some peaceful music where you can just let the thoughts and feelings flow to process them. Come here and vent as this is very good therapy and keeps me going through some very difficult times. The porn addiction is devastating in so many ways. Separate yourself from the effects of this as much as possible. If you don\'t have to tolerate it then don\'t. If you do have to tolerate then do what you can to remain as distant form its effects as is possible. Bring down your debt and focus on building the life you want to live. Moment-by-moment is all we have to face of this life. Just one small step in the right direction at a time is all it takes to get to where we need to be in life. Begin to work on meeting you needs.
Gentle ((hugs))
:-) Patricia
JAT Emergency PRACTICAL help
This will helps U deal with stress, till its no longer becomes stress, just life,
Hi London Calling!!! . Oh Sweet lovly lady,So sorry 2 hear whats going on. There is an answer. Ive been there!!!
- 15 yrs but Very Badly these last 7yrs
- Yr totally overwhelmed, this U already know.
YR AT CRISIS POINT SO ACT NOW, and QUICKLY the results will start to emerge
Im a very young 47 yr old, with no reasons to be in such a bad way (no kids no financial worries etc etc.) So physically ill, couldn t breath. Couldnt go out the house, for over 6months!!, Panic attacks, fainting collapsing with just the sheer stress of it all!! Crying like someone important had died!! (it was me dying!! Doctors couldnt help, blah blah.blah.
U & yr body struggle on & on till finally it just gives up coz it cant go on any more
My sister kept telling me it was down to the food I was eating, And hormone balance. OMG IT IS!!!
I ignored this advice for years., What a fool.
Back 2 you.
Order this book
Passage to power (leslie kenton). Its not about religion. Its about women 30 plus
1) Call in all your favours, (child care, etc).And escape, Clear off!!.
Your kids & husband will live . He\'ll see how easy it is (not) for a couple of days.
2) get 2/3 days off work JUST DO IT!!, get to a quiet place, friends house or even the library!!! & read it. READ IT. persevere & read it. With a notepad for your shopping list. INVEST IN YOURSELF!!
(perhaps look AT chapter 10 &11 first \"Order out of Chaos \" Then chapter 28 \"Resurrection\"
Eat as healthy as you can during these days.Huge breakfast, luncH and tiny dinner. lots of water, flush all the shit out.
No caffine or stimulants so you can get some rest.
2) Meanwhile,Just to stay sane, Focus on yr breathing, Breath in for 4, hold for 7, and out for 8 whilst loving yrself & relaxing on the out breath. (Do this at nite too, keeping yr thoughts ONLY on yr breathing.
3) Ignore everything else IGNORE EVERYTHING till you start to function again
Finally just have faith and Know there is a rescue, smile coz there is a saviour, its you!!! and U can turn this around
ONe hour at a time.
remove the fuel from the stress.And Stay in the moment, Ignore whats gone wrong, ignore whats going to happen. Then when the sand settles, you can start to pick up the scattered pieces that once was you
Good luck, be brave,
Ps emergency pill popping fix: evening primrose with starflower, each meal, SERIOUSLY IT bloody works
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/offer-listing/0091815940/ref=sr_1_1_up_1_main_olp?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1340227945&sr=1-1&condition=used
thanks! i will try it!