Darker World

The world is darker today. The air is thicker. My heart hurts.
I count the days as they pass by, always praying for more.
I'm drowing in grief. My lungs are filled with unshed tears.
Where are you compassion? Comfort? Peace?
Can't you see me here? Are you afraid my pain will ruin your joy?
Does it bother you to reach out to me? Am I unworthy of care?
Father I could ask you why, but I know the answer is, "why not".
I'm not special, and I'd chose to go through this if it spared someone else. I hope it does.
It's so hard to do. Some days I feel as useless as can be.
I did reach out to people... They chose not to see me.
"Incapacitation", is my feeling word today. Never done, never done.
This is the darkest time of my life, and I have no one to share with, to ease my burden.
I suffer alone.