Dark Forces

The first thing that needs to be said is... My 1600 KM (both ways) to the States to have this surgery is financially draining especially since 1) my husband is back in school because he can't find work 2) I was in a car accident (had a subsequent stroke) and can't work 3) we just got over Christmas (which is always BIG at my house).It is just one thing after another. A mountain of bills, broken dryer, car you name it. My one true thing here. A good (since childhood) friend who has had the surgery and is a strong advocate for me to have surgery as well. We have both been fat since we can remember and we know how much this means. Additionally, although there are some family members who seem to be well wishers I have heard the phrase "it's all about you" more times than I can count. Well I have decided that this time it IS  all about me. Maybe this is the start of a new trend... hey... I have an idea.... how about from now on ... IT'S ALL ABOUT ME  How about if I put my health first and get rid of the stuff that tempts me.  I buy treats for others in the house (who don't need them) but I want them to be happy. Maybe I will spend my money on really good bariatric vitamins and supplements instead of children's Flinstone or nothing instead of buying my grown kids  Netbooks, PS3's, Gps's, Cell phones & leather coats for Christmas. Maybe some other people can figure out how to float this boat while I do this one thing for me. Maybe this is part of what is meant by making a commitment to change. Perhaps it's much more than eating habits that need to change. Change... It is my hearts desire.Call it selfish if you will but I need this change or I will die.