Dammit

I made it through DDay on the 5th just fine.  Truth be told, I didn't even think of it as DDay the whole day.  Didn't even remember it was.  Days leading up to it, I had a bit of anxiety.  I even had a hard time getting out of the house one of the days to run errands, but I managed.  (I had this weird and illogical phobia that I'd run into OW.)
H and I spent the day together.  Yet again, he had a work thing he was supposed to go to an hour away.  Two years ago, I would have stayed home, he would have been gone for the day, and I'd have been resentful that I was missing out on time with him for work reasons on his day off.  It was nice to *be* together.  We went to a neat little sandwich shop that bakes its own bread from scratch and we had a silly adventure finding a bathroom sometime thereafter.  (Silly inside joke/stories/adventures that make my heart smile.)
So things were going well.  Things felt right.  On Tuesday, I had scheduled a facial for myself.  It's my usual birthday present to myself, no big thing - but this year my aesthetician moved her business to run out of her home and in order to re-drum up business she was having a huge discount.  Since I saved so much money I called H and asked if he wanted to go to lunch afterward.
We enjoyed a laid back lunch.  About 2/3 of the way through my meal, we were heavily ensconced in conversation when his cell phone rang.  Yay.  I always hate it when he takes calls when we're spending time together.  It feels rude.  But more than that, I quickly realized it was OW's office calling.  NO ONE from that office is EVER supposed to call him directly.  EVER.  That's *office policy* AND per our agreement, specifically.
I was livid.  SO pissed.  I mean, seriously, things are going well, I'm feeling good about things, and then WHAMO.  The worst part was that it just spiraled me emotionally into the place I had been SO scared I'd end up the day before.  It felt exactly like, yep, the day after DDay.  Dammit.  DAMMIT DAMMIT.
The thing is, H didn't do anything wrong.  I know this.  I even knew it at the time.  But I was still SO upset.  After he was done with the call, he saw I was upset and he gently asked what was wrong.  He knew it was rude to take a call while we were mid-conversation, but it wasn't even that which had me so upset.  In a strangled voice, I managed to say, "How did they get your number?"
He was taken aback.  But at least he instantly put the puzzle pieces together.  He called them back and asked and sure enough, the guy H had been working with during the A had given the number to the office.  I HATE THAT %(*@$&*($%*(.  He covered for H.  He lied for him.  And now he's giving out H's phone number to them!?  SERIOUSLY?  This guy is (I suspect) sleeping with someone from that office, too. (Not the same OW, I don't think.)  He also is having a sexting affair with the wife of another guy at the office.  Ass.
I ended up walking halfway home.  It wasn't meant to punish H but I couldn't be around him.  I was so angry and I needed to burn off the anger and just cool down away from him.  He was so sweet and so gentle, but that didn't change the facts that our contract had been breached, and whether it was his doing or not, I was livid.  I did NOT take it out on him, but I had to ask him to leave me be while I calmed down, even after we got home.
He offered to change his cell number again.  He offered to do a lot of things, actually.  None of them felt very satisfying.  Really, murder was at the top of my list, but I wasn't sure if I was willing to kill him, his buddy at work, or OW.  Before he went to work that night, I asked him to cuddle me and hold me close - as much for his comfort and reassurance as mine.  I told him I wanted to think about things before we did anything, but I did ask him to talk to his boss to reiterate the company policy about these phone calls.  (And other contact.)  Technically, H could claim four hours of overtime for that ten minute call according to company policy.  It's a big no-no to be contacted when he's not working.  He eventually did talk to one of his bosses who agreed that it was messed up and it also messes up paper trails and other business related details.  His boss assured him (and told him to assure me) that something would be done about this.  We'll see.
I waited a full 24 hours but then I did send a text to his buddy at work and told him that I didn't care what kind of immoral and harmful lifestyle he wanted to lead but that I wanted him to leave my husband OUT of it.  I told him to lose H's phone number and never contact him again.  I don't care that it was overreacting, it felt better to me.  He simply wrote back, "I'm sorry you feel that way."  Whatever, dude.  I doubt you have the ability to feel sorry or you wouldn't be such a douche bag to your own wife.
Dammit.  Just dammit.  I hate that everything came crashing down.  Or that, in reality, nothing changed, but that emotionally everything came crashing down.
H and I discussed changing his number.  I told him it was unnecessary - at this point - because he's being fully transparent.  I see all the incoming/outgoing texts, I see the phone bills so I know about all the incoming/outgoing calls.  And more importantly, he brings things to me, now, which has NEVER been the case before in the 20 years we've known each other.  I told him as long as he kept up the transparency and told me IMMEDIATELY if OW contacted him, there was no need to do anything.  We agreed that on top of him notifying me, that there would be a number change AND we'd contact his work AND her work (we've never contacted her work before, which I truly regret) if she contacted him in any way.  The woman at the office who had H's number agreed not to give it out and not to use it anymore - but I don't know if I trust her.  Guess we'll see.
There's more "Dammit" to come, but I think that's enough for now.