Da....blame.... game....
Good Moanin Friends...Okay I done gone to see my therapist... i do that mostly every two weeks...(twitches) but I'm gettin better...Most the time I really quack him up... see I tend to say things like I'm as happy as a tornado in a trailer park... and well I love to see folks laugh...so I ham it up... makes it easier to address some of the memories that really kick my butt...couple of the issues I have are about my adoptions and the fact I let my grandmother talk me into changin my name...I loved that old knot headed meany... I belived every thing she said... jeesh wat a.... We addressed that yesterday, along with dark dreary basement... I don't like basements.. those dark musky smellin places boogey men hide in...Yeah for reall I'm 55, and I still get this feelin of .. welll not every basement.... but some for some reason makes the hair on my neck stand up... like some creepy old houses too...Andy who i figure it's cause my mom use to toss me in a dark closet as punishment and it was a dark damp basment stair well to an appartment complex we lived in... way spooky for an 8 year old...The sad part of letin em change my name and adopt me was how it hurt my real dads' feelin... and my moms too...Now i realise that was the whole purpose of my grandmother talkin me into leting them adopt me... Just another mind game for her...I know this is all water under the bridge...but this river runs in a circle... and any thing can set off a series of memories that just aint nice none some atall... At my age it's not something that just causes me to crash and burn... just like a rash that pops up and stings for a while... feel the burn... grin and bare it... So finally we got around to talkin bout my son DJ cause my therapist talks to DJ's therapist, and well they aren't happy with the way this other doctor handles DJ's evaluation.. and DJ's therapist is gonna have a chat with this other doc... so well Me I'm just gonna let them play ball and see what happens... DJ went and put in several more job applications yesterday... Long as he's happy and healthy that's a big plus... he suprises me sometimes... Like I said He is a realy good kid... I' m proud as punch to be his DAD...
Replies
I can relate to the whole creepy basement thing. I grew up being afraid of a lot of things, well I guess it would be more accurate to say almost everything, and dark damp basements was one of them. Unfortunately I\'ve never been able to get to the bottom of what caused most of those fears and some of them still haunt me today. I\'m 50 years old and I still have a sudden panicky feeling come over me if I happen to be outside when someone I know starts up a car or other motorized machine. I think like, if I don\'t head for high ground they\'re going to run over me with it. I don\'t remember ever not feeling that way, even around my own parents. Well, anyway, just wanted to say that you\'re not alone and I\'m glad that you\'re able to see someone and talk these things out. It helps a lot.
The main thing is you play up your happy side russ thats a good thing.You choose to be jolly most of the time I can see that.Its a very delightful side of your charracter.Never lose it because there is a part of you that has to be happy and its very good.
Its rarity today to see gunuine good young men with no bad habits.You get a BIG SALUTE from me on a job well done with DJ.
Keep smiling and the whole world will smil ewith you!!
Rachel