Down

Well it's starting to hit me.  Thought I was doing really well with Jane being in hospital and all.  She hasn't been well for 3 weeks and I've coped, she went into hospital on Wednesday and I have coped, until today.   Today it started hitting home, Today I started crying, Today I am struggling to hold it together, Today I'm struggling to put on a brave face around Jane, Today I'm scared. Found out today that it seems that we've been lucky over this last 3 weeks.  They now think they know what the problems is, that her blood vessels in the head/brain are inflamed.  Inflamed blood vessels can burst very easily.  They have put her straight on steroids.  They are going to do a biopsy on one of the blood vessels that is inflamed that they can reach on Monday.   Hopefuly we've caught it in time.Hopefully they will find out what has caused the inflamation in the first place, Hopefully whatever has caused it is curable. Hopefully I won't loose her About 3 months ago, downdosed my antidepressants, been coping alright on lower dose.  Tonight I'm going to increase them back up to my old dose