D Day is right around the corner

So the saturday before Easter is coming up fast.  I am so freaked out because that was the day she cheated.  Not sure how to handle it.  Triggers are everywhere.  Part of me thinks that this was not the first time she did but another part of me says "Why do I fucking care".  I almost want to go out and do the same thing so she could find the used condom in the garbage at her place.  Just venting,  dont think I could ever do it. 
Sleeping alone is really getting tough!  Not having that physical contact, that warmth, the comfort of another body to hold.  Sometimes I think of just having a one night stand just to have a woman in bed with me. 
Well enough for tonight.