Curves behind!

Last journal entry in March was titled "Curves ahead" and good lord were there ever, but all those curves presented were any opportunity to make an excuse to drink and I did, every night for the last couple of months. I rarely ever get drunk, but I drink to excess and suffer the next morning. Unfortunately I don't get hangovers, no headaches, no nausea, just fatigue and depression. Finally got tired of drinking and tired of myself. I wake up in the middle of the night and say to myself "I will not drink tomorrow" and then I work all day and forget all about that promise. I literally have to drive by the liquor/wine store on the way home and just don't not pull in if there's no booze in the house so tonight I gave my husband all my access to money (debit card, check card, check book) and asked him to keep them. I have way too much pride to ask for them back and we have both agreed that if I do, he will allow me to go for treatment (he has resisted this in the past). I will call upon all my strength and support to get past this again. I know I can do it!