Cryday
Dearest,
The end of another sad, lonely week. It was 8°, so cold, it warmed up to 24° by the time I got home tonight. I remember how you hated this weather. How you complained and talked about moving. I remember. Tomorrow I'll visit you and bring you some holiday decorations. First thing though I have to take your cat to the vets. So I expect I'll show up all bandaged and scarred. Winter is so hard, I never used to mind it so much because, I guess, we could always cuddle to keep warm. I miss cuddling, I miss you! Winter has hardly begun and I'm already sick of it.
Someone was surprised that I go to the cemetery in the winter. Last winter I drove from doctor to doctor and hospital to hospital in blizzards and ice storms and whatever. Why would it be any different now? The only difference now is that I don't have to lie and tell you that the driving was fine so you won't worry. My car made some funny noise today, made me worry. No one to come rescue me if I break down. Remember when we first met you asked me if I thought I was rescuing you? I told you that I thought we would rescue each other. I believed that. I still do. I'm not feeling very rescued nowadays.
I'm tired now, going to bed. spent too much of the day running up and down the damn stairs at work. I have a lot of trouble with the crossword puzzle lately I think maybe my brains not working right. Don't worry, I'm not making up words.
I love you still, your Ken
The end of another sad, lonely week. It was 8°, so cold, it warmed up to 24° by the time I got home tonight. I remember how you hated this weather. How you complained and talked about moving. I remember. Tomorrow I'll visit you and bring you some holiday decorations. First thing though I have to take your cat to the vets. So I expect I'll show up all bandaged and scarred. Winter is so hard, I never used to mind it so much because, I guess, we could always cuddle to keep warm. I miss cuddling, I miss you! Winter has hardly begun and I'm already sick of it.
Someone was surprised that I go to the cemetery in the winter. Last winter I drove from doctor to doctor and hospital to hospital in blizzards and ice storms and whatever. Why would it be any different now? The only difference now is that I don't have to lie and tell you that the driving was fine so you won't worry. My car made some funny noise today, made me worry. No one to come rescue me if I break down. Remember when we first met you asked me if I thought I was rescuing you? I told you that I thought we would rescue each other. I believed that. I still do. I'm not feeling very rescued nowadays.
I'm tired now, going to bed. spent too much of the day running up and down the damn stairs at work. I have a lot of trouble with the crossword puzzle lately I think maybe my brains not working right. Don't worry, I'm not making up words.
I love you still, your Ken
Replies
I\'m so sorry...wish I could wave a magic wand and help all of us. bigbear and I loved the hills of NY, living on a little lake where we built a log cabin was nice...miss it, miss the snow even but...think this time of year we miss our spouses even more. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers...hugs, Sandi
This is my first winter in the north since 1988 and, although it certainly is not as cold here, I am FREEZING. I could be in Florida in the sun (although it gets cool there too) but I want and need to be with family now and that means in cold weather. Haven\'t really reached the \"cold\" months yet here but already I am layered in warm clothes. Hate it....but that is just the way it is now. Sending you warm thoughts. Don\'t worry about the crossword puzzles.....all that comes back in time......like everyything else.
Hope you feel better tomorrow.
I vote we all just cancel winter. When Jim died in August I said well, the summer is done now. I barely remember Autumn but I\'m sure it was here. We (me) own land in upstate NY - just south of Oneida - and I am betting the meadow is already covered in snow. Last year we would drive up and snowshoe around for a couple hours then warm up at a little inn before driving home. This year I won\'t do that. I am cancelling winter.
ps. Friday = cryday. I do love your renaming of days.
It seemed for close to a year after Frank died I couldn\'t read a book to save my soul. The fog as I called it just wouldn\'t let me think right. I found one day to my surprise that I could read, and understand what I read. I have been making up ever since. Its not unusual for winter to be hard on us. We are more stationary and house bound, and it makes us face the I am alone feeling. I like the marble in the can saying. I can relate. I hope that you find a bit of peace this weekend. I will be praying that you do. Jane
Norm alwasy loved crossword puzzels.........and had it been me to go first I think he would have had the same problem.........sure do agree with your feelings about winter........we had a snowstorm the last couple of days and it would have been great had we been here snuggled up together..........would have brought comfort and joy...........nothing is the same...........just makin\' it one day at a time...........
hugs
L