Crying
I am in my home town to see my sister, brother, nieces, friends etc. It has been a good few days. My brother is doing okay. I had to remind the nurses to be more vigilant with his remaining foot. But other than that, he is in good spirits. His memory is gone, but he does recognize me and we chat. The upside is, I can tell the same stories every day and they are new to him.
My sister is getting frailer and her memory is going as well. I guess that is what I have to look forward to in 11 years.
I came back to my friend's house, had a visit and went to bed. I started to cry and cry. I look at my siblings who are in their late 70s and wonder why they are hanging on and Lisa is gone. I am pretty sure I am not the only one who wonders these things but tonight it just made me sad. Not that I want to see either of them gone but Lisa had so much life to live.
I read Sandi's journal and thought about the Serenity Prayer and the cushion Lisa embroidered for me. She knew how much I liked it and sometimes reminded me about it when I got upset about things I could not change. The cushion sits on the bench by the door - it is like Lisa reminding me that I can't change things, but how I wish I could. I can't bring her back and it just makes me so very sad.
Lisa: I know you probably don't want me crying but tonight I just can't stop.
I miss you always and love you forever.
My sister is getting frailer and her memory is going as well. I guess that is what I have to look forward to in 11 years.
I came back to my friend's house, had a visit and went to bed. I started to cry and cry. I look at my siblings who are in their late 70s and wonder why they are hanging on and Lisa is gone. I am pretty sure I am not the only one who wonders these things but tonight it just made me sad. Not that I want to see either of them gone but Lisa had so much life to live.
I read Sandi's journal and thought about the Serenity Prayer and the cushion Lisa embroidered for me. She knew how much I liked it and sometimes reminded me about it when I got upset about things I could not change. The cushion sits on the bench by the door - it is like Lisa reminding me that I can't change things, but how I wish I could. I can't bring her back and it just makes me so very sad.
Lisa: I know you probably don't want me crying but tonight I just can't stop.
I miss you always and love you forever.
Replies
Loving care surrounding you this very moment and in the ones to come. Life is so fragile...
Cry all you need to as it\'s such an important release for us and I too adore the Serenity Prayer and say it often.
May you feel Lisa\'s presence massaging your heart and letting you know how well loved you are by her.
Gentle hugs,
Joanie
You are so right. I think we have all questioned why our children that so much ahead of them are gone and some that haves lived full,long lives still are here. I think you needed that good cry...I think the emotions build up and then we have to release them. Take gentle care of yourself. Love and hugs...Karen
Marlene, I don\'t begrudge anyone a long, full life but why oh why did our kids have to leave so soon? I even question why I have had so many more years than my son? I think it is a fair question but I don\'t think we will have the answer in the here and now. I love the Serenity Prayer and have it posted in my home & at my office to help me get through the days & nights. And it hurts. I understand. Sending love and light and peace for your hurting Mother\'s heart, Linda xoxo
It\'s all so confusing as we try to figure out the impossible ~ that our precious Lisa and Corrie are no longer here when others seem to hang on forever. It\'s not right. It\'s not fair. It\'s incomprehensible. It\'s the way life on earth is, sadly. Random and confusing.
It\'s good to hear that your brother\'s in good spirits. And I hope that your tears helped wash away some of the pent-up sadness.
Sending you so much love and hugs of comfort ~ Debbie
I am feeling a bit better. I do not begrudge anyone a full happy life. In fact the majority of my work life has been working with and advocating for the elderly. But as Linda said, there are no answers in the here and now as to why our children were taken from us so soon.
((((hugs))))
My maternal grandmother, my mom, and my moms sister all suffered from Alzheimers...it\'s such a sad disease. It sometimes scares me for my future. I understand, and I care. I also understand the tears. No amount of knowing Lisa and Kala want us happy can stop all the tears all the time. They understand that too. I love that you have placed Lisa\'s pillow by the door....sort of a reminder as you leave and a comfort when you return...nice, very nice.
Love and more love to you and your sweet girl!