Crying
This is a very hard day. I decided it was the time to begin sorting your dresser drawers honey. You always kept more than clothes in the drawers; cards, mementos, etc. Things that were special to you. The tears just starting flowing and they haven't stopped.
I called your sister Thelma because I found the plaque Wes carved. It is of David's dog and I wanted to know if she thought David would like it. She said oh yes he really would. As we talked I realized that David wears the same size clothes that you did and since he has begun going to church he could really use some of your nice shirts and sweaters. I was so happy to hear that and will send them to him ASAP. It makes me feel good that your nephew will get use out of some of your clothes.
This day has made me realize (again) how lonely I am. It is great having friends, and family, but they just don't know the pain, the hurt, the sorrow and the loneliness that I hold in my heart. I make a point of being "OK" when I with them as I don't want to burden them with my sadness. If I talk about it I begin crying and I don't want to do that except when I am alone and I can talk to you.
I will be going to see Mark and his family on March 4th. I am looking forward to hugging the grandchildren very much. It will be hard to be there without you but I need to be near them.
I haven't cried like this for awhile. Am I going backwards or is this just another bump in this horrible road of grief?
I miss you so much honey. If only I could give you one more hug, one more kiss and tell you one more time how much I love you!
With all my love always,
Linda
I called your sister Thelma because I found the plaque Wes carved. It is of David's dog and I wanted to know if she thought David would like it. She said oh yes he really would. As we talked I realized that David wears the same size clothes that you did and since he has begun going to church he could really use some of your nice shirts and sweaters. I was so happy to hear that and will send them to him ASAP. It makes me feel good that your nephew will get use out of some of your clothes.
This day has made me realize (again) how lonely I am. It is great having friends, and family, but they just don't know the pain, the hurt, the sorrow and the loneliness that I hold in my heart. I make a point of being "OK" when I with them as I don't want to burden them with my sadness. If I talk about it I begin crying and I don't want to do that except when I am alone and I can talk to you.
I will be going to see Mark and his family on March 4th. I am looking forward to hugging the grandchildren very much. It will be hard to be there without you but I need to be near them.
I haven't cried like this for awhile. Am I going backwards or is this just another bump in this horrible road of grief?
I miss you so much honey. If only I could give you one more hug, one more kiss and tell you one more time how much I love you!
With all my love always,
Linda
Replies
Hi Linda..... Here is day 108 from GriefShare
Forward, Backward
Day 108
Do not be discouraged if it feels as though you are going backward at timessometimes forward, sometimes backward. That is the natural process of grief.
If you are bringing your hurts and fears to God, if you desire to move forward toward healing, if you are learning about the grieving process and trying to apply some things you have learned, then you are making progress, even when you do not feel you are.
Dora, whose daughter passed away, says, \"Sometimes you will think, Last week I could cope with this, and this week I can\'t, and then you\'ll think, I\'m not getting any better. I\'m not making any progress. Then you\'ll take a big leap forward. There\'s no timeline.\"
You, too, will take that big leap forward as time goes on. For now, concentrate on the small victories over the painfewer tears, a smile, helping another person, reading and understanding a Bible passage, replacing a negative thought with a positive thought, forgiving a wrong.
\"We also pray that you will be strengthened with his glorious power so that you will have all the patience and endurance you need\" (Colossians 1:11 NLT).
Father God, when I get discouraged because it feels like I\'m going backward and not forward, help me to stop trying so hard and allow You to be my support and strength. Amen
love, Val
Hi Linda,
The above is one of the e-mails I receive from GriefShare. It came at a good time as I, like you, was going through Dick\'s things. I do a little more every now & then. I hope that it helps you. Love, Val
Linda,
My therapist reminded me that even when we think we take two steps back and one step forward we are continually moving forward - sometimes it is up and down but it is always forward never all the way back to day one. Remember that? No... don\'t remember that. We are far from that day. Hugs to you. I too am having a rough few days; it the nature of the beast.
Linda
My heart aches for you and everyone here who is hurting for their \"other half\" tonight. It is certainly a pain beyond anything we have known before. BUT, the Lord is with you, and you are going to feel better! Psalm 61:2 says:
\"When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.\"
Blessings - Doye