CRUSHED

I hate my ovaries...I do nto really hate them...I just feel so betrayed by my body. On MOnday there were two follicles measuring 1.0 and 1.3 then the right one went to 1.4 on Wednesday and today the left one is gone and the right has not changed. So...it feels like what had happened in August is reoccuring again...my follicles are disappearing...my eggs are going...I am not ovulating...WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? I have tried to read some stuff on it, and all it says is that this happens to women who are premenopausal. OH YIPPY!The nurse told me to come back on Tuesday after the long weekend.  I was not going to get excited this time about the monitoring...I was not going to start dreaming about being pregnant and giving birth in the summer...I was not even going to ask the technican about the follicle sizes...but I did all those things because I thought that the Letrozole would work again. I fell crushed...I did this to myself...I need to eat properly and exercise then maybe this would not be happening to me.I can not even go home and cry, because my inlaws are in town and tonight my DH cousin comes in. The last time I saw her we had found out that we were pregnant...and now there is nothing. I am just having a depressing day....God grant me the strenght to get through this.