Crushed
I have been doing pretty well. Put my youngest son in therapy so feel like I am taking action for him and my oldest son starting dating a girl I know and like very much. Since seeing her he emails more and readily responds when I try to contact him. Makes me happy.
I have hit the hard time at work though with long long hours and no time for home life. I am trying when I come home after 14 hour days to give attention to Joey and Zachary. Last night I came home less than 30 minutes before I normally go to bed. I stayed up almost an hour to listen to my children talk about their days.
I tried to go to bed, but had forgotten to do stuff so I came back down and went to run back up. My husband stepped in front of me to demand a hug because he hadn't gotten one. We are rarely physically affectionate so I was annoyed that when I was trying to get to bed after an exhausting day he had to have a hug when he usually doesn't. I said something about being in a hurry, but gave him the hug. I could tell he was annoyed.
This morning my guilt over all the long hours hit and I suggested he might pick up take out tonight rather than cook. He asked if I would be home for dinner. We have been over I am working late every night for the last too weeks so I just looked at him and said what do you think. He then looked at me and asked if he should pick me up some take out . I was so shocked. He works late a lot and I would not dream of not picking him up some food to reheat when he gets home. I do it all the time. I could not help feeling like he does not think of me at all to not just get me food when he gets some for himself. I looked at him and said of course why wouldn't you. He got mad.
He told me I should stop acting like our son. That was perhaps the meanest thing he has ever said to me. Our son is ADHD and very difficult. He is constantly demanding attention and rude about it. I have always felt my husband does not love our son. He thinks he is obnoxious and can't stand to be around him. His feelings for our son has driven us so far apart. He once asked me if the way he treated Zachary caused me to stop loving him and I told him yes. The idea that he would say I was acting in a fashion that reminded him of someone he seems to hate at times was so hurtful. Honestly I was hurt that he wouldn't think to bring me food too. I sure have always done it for him. But then he has never been the thoughtful type.
I guess it is stupid to let one little comment just push me through the floor, but I just can't stop crying over this. He went to work without even apologizing. I have no idea how I will work with clients for 13 hours today, miss seeing my oldest son who is coming to visit tonight and still survive this day emotionally. God help me I don't think I can do this. The black pit has swallowed me again and I don't know if I can climb back out.
I have hit the hard time at work though with long long hours and no time for home life. I am trying when I come home after 14 hour days to give attention to Joey and Zachary. Last night I came home less than 30 minutes before I normally go to bed. I stayed up almost an hour to listen to my children talk about their days.
I tried to go to bed, but had forgotten to do stuff so I came back down and went to run back up. My husband stepped in front of me to demand a hug because he hadn't gotten one. We are rarely physically affectionate so I was annoyed that when I was trying to get to bed after an exhausting day he had to have a hug when he usually doesn't. I said something about being in a hurry, but gave him the hug. I could tell he was annoyed.
This morning my guilt over all the long hours hit and I suggested he might pick up take out tonight rather than cook. He asked if I would be home for dinner. We have been over I am working late every night for the last too weeks so I just looked at him and said what do you think. He then looked at me and asked if he should pick me up some take out . I was so shocked. He works late a lot and I would not dream of not picking him up some food to reheat when he gets home. I do it all the time. I could not help feeling like he does not think of me at all to not just get me food when he gets some for himself. I looked at him and said of course why wouldn't you. He got mad.
He told me I should stop acting like our son. That was perhaps the meanest thing he has ever said to me. Our son is ADHD and very difficult. He is constantly demanding attention and rude about it. I have always felt my husband does not love our son. He thinks he is obnoxious and can't stand to be around him. His feelings for our son has driven us so far apart. He once asked me if the way he treated Zachary caused me to stop loving him and I told him yes. The idea that he would say I was acting in a fashion that reminded him of someone he seems to hate at times was so hurtful. Honestly I was hurt that he wouldn't think to bring me food too. I sure have always done it for him. But then he has never been the thoughtful type.
I guess it is stupid to let one little comment just push me through the floor, but I just can't stop crying over this. He went to work without even apologizing. I have no idea how I will work with clients for 13 hours today, miss seeing my oldest son who is coming to visit tonight and still survive this day emotionally. God help me I don't think I can do this. The black pit has swallowed me again and I don't know if I can climb back out.
Replies
Does your husband have a job? Does he take your kids anywhere like to the boys and girls club?
Does he at least clean? I am sorry you are going through this he shouldn\'t disrespect you like that. Sometimes when you are depressed it\'s really a person who is standing on your back and being negligent.