Cruelty
Someone posted on cruelty in Healthy Relationships, and it triggered some not-so-good memories for me in 4th grade, when 3 douchebags made it their mission in life to pick on me and make my life a living hell. They poked fun at my looks, my interest at the time in comic books, everything about me, anything positive I may have had going on, shattered whatever meager self-esteem I may have had. Fuck THEIR privacy (and it ain't slander if it's true): Their names are Kevin PacQuette (he was the biggest, fattest loudmouth douchebag of the bunch), with skinny rail Rick Ponton and short little puke John Wheeler as his Chiwawa cronies who played along. I hope they're better people now, but I could care less. To each of you: You put me through a lot of pain and torment, forced me into a rage at a very young age, when I should've had a more "pleasant", "logical", "linear" emotional development! I hope, if you're not dead, you're rotting of obesity, Cirrhosis of the liver or some other health issue now!
Replies
I can remember going through the same type of things in 5th grade for me. I can realate, and I feel your pain. None of it is okay. Do yourself a favor and try to forgive them. Forgiveness is not a gift to them, it is a gift to yourself, and let all the anger go. It\'s not okay, never will be okay, but I hate to see you feeling this way.
Amy
I\'m so sorry you were bullied by those jerks when you were a kid. I think that\'s one of the worst things that can happen to a child while they\'re developing.
Good for you wishing bad things for those three. Can I add in that I hope each one of them, at some point in their life, gets fucked with a cheese grater? LOL
I agree with Amy, find a way to forgive so you can be free of the built up anger and be free of them. Forgiving isn\'t for the person(s) that did you wrong, it is for yourself. To forgive is to set a prisioner free and discover that the prisioner was you. - Lewis B. Smedes
IMO, wishing harm on others is self-destructive, as long as you\'re wishing, fantasizing about bad things happening to others, you\'re harboring anger deep inside and the only one that will do harm to is you. I spent many years of my life, too many years of my life wishing harm on my 2 rapists and by doing so I was allowing them to continue controlling me, my thoughts, my emotions, my life. When I finally realized the only one being hurt by my thoughts of what I wish would happen to them was ME, it was causing ME pain, not them, the anger was eating ME up, not them, it was killing ME inside, not them and so I was able to forgive and set myself free from their ties and set myself free from the built up anger, the hurt, the pain I harbored for so long inside of me and by doing so I was able to move on from it. I was able to find my inner peace, my tranquility and I became a much stronger person by setting myself free.
When something bad happens, you have three choices......You can either let it define you.....Let it destroy you.......or you can let it strengthen you.
My wish for you is that you can let go of the anger, the hurt, the pain, you can forgive for YOU so you can find your inner peace.
Wow, popular journal entry! Thanks, ladies. Oh, I have forgiven those jerks, but when I read that post on cruelty in Healthy Relationships, it made me aware that this stuff still goes on all the time. I turned my rage into passion for photography and moviemaking. Some people turn homicidal (or suicidal). Never will give them the pleasure. Thanks!