Crossroads
I am at a crossroads where I feel I need to make a decision. Since I've been working at my job, I have been accused of leading a coworker on by my boss and having a "love fest" in the kitchen because we just so happened to be in the kitchen at the same time which hardly ever happens. He was making coffee and I was going to make coffee. Afternoon coffee is something I've been doing for years. I talk to just about everyone in the office, does that mean I'm having a love fest with them too?
I think its affected me and my work. She stuck me at the front desk where there is a camera right on me. I've felt degraded and intimidated and makes it hard to work with my boss. I've been making alot of mistakes too recently as it is hard to work in that environment. I need the money. I feel I should seek legal counsel if i have a leg to stand on. It was inappropriate for my boss to tell me the coworkers private life in the beginning, even if she was just warning me. I guess I'm asking your opinion. Is all of this considered harrassment?
Replies
You boss telling you private stuff about coworkers is bad management but honestly suing will likely go nowhere. .I am a manager and I can tell you from my perspective and experience: If you are making mistakes and what not, suing will be seen as trying to deflect poor performance. Right or wrong, whether you what’s happening is real or perceived, it’s very hard to prove whatever you are claiming. Your boss sounds like a bad boss. People leave jobs because of bad bosses. Truly my advice to you if you are open to it is just start looking for another job. Depending on your state, most employers can fire at will. You aren’t going to come out on top with this situation.
I will share a story with you. I am a manager and a pretty good one, I think. Not perfect but I try to do a good job. I had to put an employee on a performance improvement plan because he wasn’t meeting his job standards. He reported me to HR for harassment. Under law, nothing I was doing met the criteria for harassment of course. It felt that way to him but I document the hell out of everything. He went no further with the claim after meeting with me and HR. The performance plan was still in place. He knew he was in a no win situation. He found a new job pretty quickly after that. Had he stayed I would have ended up firing him because I know he wouldn’t have met the performance plan criteria. After he quit, the HR person said to me that she takes employee’s claims seriously but most times they are very aware they are going to get fired at some point so it’s a last ditch effort to vindicate themselves or get perceived justice but they don’t see that it’s just a no win for them.
I am sorry your work environment sucks but you are not a victim there. You just have a shitty job.
I have seldom seen harassment run one-way. To my twisted perceptions, it more often looks more like a shared competition of defensive and offensive maneuvers. Player A makes an offensive move so Player B counters, on and on until the players are kicking one another's hearts and dreams up and down the playing field while the spectators cry and/or jeer across the gossip lines.
I seem to recall you setting some rather harsh boundaries with your boss. Could those be considered harassment, as well?
Just wondering. . . It remains yours to sort. Continued support while you sort.
Unless you have a Union, an employer can fire someone if they don't like the looks of their face......It's unfortunate, but unless the employer is blatantly breaking the law, then the workers have very few rights.
You can talk to a lawyer. The first visit is free and if he thinks you have a case, he will take it for free. You can make some money on a civil case.
I remember getting fired for not working enough overtime one week and so I filed a grievance with the union. They brought in the head negotiator for the eastern states who told the company president that we were prepared to go all the way to court and have every single worker tell the judge what great worker I was, so the company got scared and surrendered before it went that far,.... 5 weeks later I had my job back with full seniority! What a great moment that was. I worked there another 5 years before quitting to take a better paying job.
If you do look for another job, try to find one with a union. You will be glad you did.
God Bless
I told my boss I didnt want to talk about my private life, I dont think that's harsh, but a boss putting out someone else's sexual preferences and then dragging me into it is another. My performance had been great up until just recently, those exact words came out of her mouth. A person can only endure so much before it starts affecting their work. Yes rmb, I see your side of things but do you thinks its appropriate for a boss to tell me those things? Why should I be fired for something I didnt ask for?
Sweetie,
I had a boss similar to the one you describe. Tried my best to do something about it, but I ended up quitting after being miserable 3 years.
Blessings and prayers