Crocodile Tears V
In last night's grievous quiet, I wrote a letter to the other grandparents. I already know Hubs willnae approve. He has been busying out like a bachelor executive and doesnae approve of much that goes beyond pragmatic fundamentals. Just the facts, Ma'am. Nothing but the facts. Yesterday a platitudinous "Good morning" nearly launched us into a tit-for-tat skirmish. I'm getting pretty good at detaching with the first contentious tone. Yesterday my detachment slid easily to dissociation, but I only believe that dissociation has its uses. My "shower for the soul" needed to reach places nay even *I* normally go. The dirt of my broken life runs deep.
The letter is already sealed and awaiting my decision whether to mail it behind Hubby's back or risk the honesty of what the legal games mean to me, up close and personal. This is his first personal experience with Lawsuit Lotto. He still sounds like he is out to be the most eloquent opinionator at the company water cooler. That isnae a contest in my ears, Babe. The poet I married is still somewhere under all that office fat. The rich baritones of your voice still hypnotize while you are regurgitating your NPR reports.
The letter in the sealed envelope amidst my therapy materials reads,
Dear Grandma and Grandpa,
Your legal manuevering has shattered my hope of blessing my son's children with a unified family tree. No, we will not hire a lawyer that can beat up your lawyer. You win. Nolo contendre. We will not allow children to be pawns in custody disputes. We stand ready, willing and able to walk away from your victory, leaving only prayers for your benovolent wisdom.
We await the decision of the courts, et al. We stand ready to grieve the loss of four loved ones instead of *only* one.
Condolences on the loss of your daughter.
Sincerely,
Gammy October 2019
The plural pronoun implies that Hubs is in agreement. He is not. I donae care to do the research, but I am guessing he already has a list of lawyers able to beat up the Housing Project Lawyer's lawyer somewhere in the chaotic piles of paper on his office desk. It willnae surprise me a single iota to hear he has already talked to at least one. He's a take-charge heavyweight, messy paper piles and all. I am tempted to suggest he end his leave of absence and get back to work, just so I can take 3 steps without getting knocked off the proverbial playing court. Get your torque wrenches out of my ear, Fix-It Man. . . Yea, yea, you be the rightiest right in the whole right pack.
And the drama continues. . . Are we not worse yet?
Replies
addendum:
I opened the envelope to quote directly.
My personal opine is... this legal action on the part of DIL's parent is a deed that should not be dignified with any response at all. The court may have to respond because it is part of their cherished law, and I am thinking the judge reading the transcript of previse actions taken angst that man were in the children's best interest. The job of any lawyer Hubs puts into action is to make sure the judge has read transcripts or make him aware they exist.
I know you usually don't speak for other people and now is not the time to speak for Hubs. His actions or inactions will speak for him.
Your action of writing the letter is a therapy I use to get something like this feeling out of my head. Let it be written does not mean it needs to be read.
my new mantra is sung to the music from the movie Frozen "Let it go, let it go"
Let it be not worse yet, Let there be peace on earth. Let it begin with me!
Praying for better days
Big Bro was hot after the life he left behind. I doesn't know but I does believe I did pretty well at sticking to simple facts without the adult addendum about the fact that Grandma and Grandpa want them to live with them again. The urge to proselytize wasnae much there as I answered his rapid fire questions. Most of this round was spent comparing school websites. He was hoping to find better pictures of his old school, butttttaaaa. . . The graphics on his new school website are impressive, even to this old, burned-out web graphics warhorse. Never mind that the add extra loading time that is irritating when in search of a single fact. The graphics are impressive. I am guessing they were filmed via one of the aero geeks from the small, private airport across the street from the school.
The search for equivalent graphics of his old school were still underway when I closed the laptop and announced, "Time to go. Today's school is awaiting."
Stepping small, praying big and holding the love sacred.
Yes, Delusional Old Sis, I agree. I've been thinking about sending the message via smoke signals.
Wish you were here for the fire ceremony.
Continuing support. Words unsaid and letters unsent cannot be used against us. Prayers continue.
Huge hug of comfort and support Arf……
I have worked with a Wrongful Conviction organization Arfie and the reason that people are eventually exonerated is because they have great lawyers who really, really know the laws of the land
Please don't underestimate this sweetie for all of your sakes.... Why did OJ Simpson get off.... I really don't think he was innocent it was because he had a dream team and they won't hesitate to tear you guy apart in court
The last thing I want to do is to add to your burden however good lawyers know their stuff and if they're working for the other grandparents that's where their loyalties will lie..... This is a job to them..... without emotion
I wish you would at least think about talking to a lawyer and then make a decision
I feel really terrible for you.... I know that this is the last thing that you need however it won't just go away unfortunately...…. You are in my prayers with whatever decision you make.....xo
Hubs shares your view, Sun Cloud. Adamantly. In criminal court, I can see the logic. Family court, not so much. I have lived in families who duke out their issues in family court and still see walking away as the most viable solution available. May the *best* win. Let me know where to send the trophy and what you want inscribed on said trophy. Do you need me to put on a cheerleader costume and shake my 65 year cleavage before I go?
We programmed the phone to give Big Bro unlimited access to the other grandparents and the gang bang of manipulative adult cajoling without permitting the circus clowns any access, whatsoever, to us. We are offering no commentary on the adult cajoling while staying available to answer questions in words a 6 year old can understand. How much he misses the video game buddies and video parlors is old topic. Hubs is still expostulating like a tech executive over the damage caused by video games, et al. I gave up that battle while the father of my grandchildren was still an actual kid and phones were still dumb. I am quite relieved to allow Big Bro to channel all that nostalgic fun into somebody who glows in the dark while they waddle their way to the bathroom.
The only new question which has emerged from the exchange is an old question out of the other grandparent. Paraphrasing that variable verbage negotiation to my personal understanding, my synopsis is, "When is the delivery service going to commence?"
Not. . . In 6 year old translation, I stated that as, "It is up to them when they are going to come get you."
Their mother cried grievously when she told her tales of hours spent on school curbs waiting. I cried for her on her wedding day when she was alone in her bridal chamber while her parents, 6 siblings, et al left her to handle pre-wedding jitters alone and went on to hold up the ceremony for 30 minutes. Big Bro doesn't need to hear that massive collection of stories.