Crocodile Tears II
Mr G's legal antics arenae staying shuffled off to the side as *simple* articles of Awareness. They fit my bridezilla sisters far better than they fit a grandfather. Can this waddling little man harrass the other grandparents as viciously as my sisters and his daughters harrass their Ex's? So far as I know, the tax drain of his Welfare Economics is as near as law allows his lawyer to get to our hearts and our pockets.
And still I want to *simply* walk away from the game. The thought of entering the office of a lawyer who is willing to play the tear-families-apart game, much less pay the bottom-feeder for the yaddahs of those blahs still fills my mouth with bile. I am already grieving the loss of a beloved son. The pain of grieving the loss of his children alongside of him feels almost natural. Painful as a grandfather fuck, but still natural. Far more natural than taking on a second parenting career with zero support from the middle generation.
Is there such a thing as a morbidly obese lifestyle? If I am remembering correctly, my DIL was already morbidly obese when she started kindergarten. Big Sis was already wearing fat rolls on her 3 year old knees when the CPS shuffle took place back in August. Both parents were nearing hysteria about the children learning morbid obesity under the tutelege of her parents while they were in their custody. I think. I donae feel comfortable speaking for my DIL. Her door remained mostly closed to the entire world until the day she died. Her social anxiety showed the ferocity of "The Fat Kid" formed in a day before morbid obesity was common. Her chronic depression was equally fierce. According to my son, I had pried a bigger crack in her closed door than anyone else he knew of, including himself. I first met her in HS, circa 2k, when one of my stray kids brought her over for pajama parties. My son didnae meet her until around 2011 when he went to a party thrown by this same social circle. Still, the wedding graduated me to Monster-in-law and? ? ? I'd rather guess the inner wokings of her father's mind as he is attempting to ? ? ? whatever you want to call his current legal schmegal.
I do feel fully comfortable speaking for my son. He worked incredibly hard at giving his children ample playground time for the entire 6+ years he was a father. His efforts to fill those needs and more while caring for his disabled wife cost him every job he ever had. Those fat rolls on 3 year old knees were breaking his heart. Despite the lengthy commute for visitation, he was relieved to know they were getting ample exercise and fresh air up here at the farm. He would be proud of those 3 year old knees today.
But who am I to say there is anything wrong with the great girths and non-stop television? Not mine to sort. I can see many strengths in returning to the original 2-geezer retirement plans we had in full-swing before this series of unfortunate events.
Sorting. . . Grieving. . .
Hubs is far more amenable to hiring a lawyer of his own. En garde, fat man. . . Let's play legal wars. . .
Go ahead, Babe. Start without me. That is *yours* to sort. . . I'm just praying my ABC's.
Replies
Arfie.....I can understand why you want to walk away from the game. I can't believe attorney's and other side of family is dragging you and children through this so soon after losing your son and their father. Sometimes a parent's love is shown through food. I grew up as a obese child because food was "love". My mother was morbidly obese and I believed food filled the holes that her emotionally distant parents left.
If DIL's family is so heartless to drag these children through the dirt along with yourself so soon after loss, can you imagine what DIL's life must have been like growing up? I know I don't understand the whole story but, it seems so obvious to me.
Prayers to you my friend. Your doing the best you can.
This benevolent grandfather was asking about lawyers to pump the car insurance claim before he asked where his daughter's body was. He pumped his "Gringo Son-in-law" for cash at every opportunity, whether the crazy gringo was job-hunting or just trying to make ends meet. We are far more disappointed than surprised.
The grief runs ever deeper. . .
Praying my ABC's. . . Please send back the letters that I need. . .
Hugs & much support Arfie.
It’s completely understandable to desire to “walk away from the game” which is a game that you never asked to participate in, nor could have ever expected. There shouldn’t be a game in the first place but as I’ve been sued under the guise of a custody suit by my eldest daughter’s extended family in her father’s name, I’m well familiar that the “in-laws” can just as often be vicious vampires out for blood. What was supposed to be a minor ironing out of child support payments for my ex turned into a full blown battle for money and custody under the hands of me ex’s family that he didn’t even know was going on. He never wanted primary custody only to have his child support fixed.
“Morbidly obese lifestyle”..., I honestly think it is quite possible, Arfie. I’ve seen enough evidence to justify that theory.
I’m so sorry that during your time of mourning the in-laws are only in it for the financial benefit. Continue to let your grief flow as you need it to. There is little we can do about other people but taking care of yourself, hubs and GKs comes first.
Hugs & much love Arfie
Love and Prayers for yours and All's Greatest Good.....what ever path your feet walk today, please let them find peace, body mind soul.
I only wish the lawsuits were a surprise, Mighty River. Her family's lawsuit lotto infamy was part of the High School pajama party discussions when she was still *just* one of my stray kids. On the occasions the two family branches came together, the gringo pocket jokes flowed freely from the father of the tribe. All of the siblings who had been married had divorce war stories to tell. The insurance company was fielding the lawsuit before the funeral. The agents were very gentle and kind in their awareness of how lawsuit lotto can complicate the grieving process. Housing project lawyers are business as usual in their offices. We appreciated their assurances that they have us covered there, as well.
Then we get to the foster care and SSI booty. . . The only expert wiser than a housing project lawyer is a welfare economist. . .
Huge hugs of support Arf….. I understand why you'd like to walk away as well sweetie BUT if it were me I would let your lawyer do his/her job...
I know you must be in despair right now re losing your beloved son and his wife....Money can seem so cold when you're thinking about human loss and grief
However unfortunately money really helps in the world we have
This is a fight for your grandchildren and their future in monetary terms
Everything costs so much so if they ever have medical problems or just routine 'stuff', clothes, utilities. extras, organized activities ... schools for the future..... He sounds like a real jerk and shame on him for his greed
I understand that it must seem sickening ….. Gentle hug..... You remain in my prayers......xo
Beyond the car insurance claim, I doesn't have a lawyer on this job, Jan.and doesn't want one, neither. Leaving the judgement and sentencing to The Gnarly Old Dickhead. For this particular week, "One Day at A Time" is whelming enough. I'm taking ^it^ play by play. Trying, anyway. . .
Plying therapy tools. . .
Have you contacted social security and CPS just to let them know what it going on 'with the other's in the money grab'....perhaps they can step in, ... or going online? Don't know, all must be a cloud in your head, only speaking from my own past experiences with loss....just trying to get through the day with gk's is gigantic~~continued prayers (((hugs)))
Not sure what universe these people came from, but wish they would return there. Comforting hugs and prayers.
CPS didn't need our help to spot the scam tactics. Housing project lawyers are as common in their office as profiteers of death are in the insurance offices. I suspect the social security offices are familiar with the breed, as well.
These folks are "Hispanic" at the census bureau, but they are bred, born and educated in the USA. They have far more in common with the criminals and welfare nulls on my family tree than they do with anybody I have ever met south of the Rio Grande, en cualquier idioma.
can CPS and Social Security take this overwhelming weight off your shoulders and tell you what ''''they intend to do''''?
The CPS network has been as helpful as they can across a four county jurisdiction. The bureaucracy sucks, but the people have been supportive and embracing. They, too, want to see the children have full and easy access to both branches of their family tree.
For now, nothing feels like the most productive thing to do. Grief is as mysterious a master as healing. Sometimes doing nothing is something, after all.
Hubs and I decided to play up Halloween this year. Over the course of the weekend, Big Sis became Princess Pony while I became Chief Paducah, River Pirate. Big Bro played with sundry candidates while he continues waiting for his special order video game costume. Little Sis was only interested in the boxes. Free fiber?
God Bless You All.....and yes more and more of whatever fills you up with such needed glimmers of joy with the gk's.