crisis

well im in crisis.. not drinking crisis. my mh.. its appaling.. i actually lost the plot last night.. been to see my doctor today and hes upped my anti ds and told my pysch who is refering me to a safe house for a 3 night break....
and what may you ask is goin on...
a lot actually
my eldest daughter has jus had a major op at birminghma kiddies.. the recovery was horrendus and the post op care is bad too.....
sending my head into overdrive
i managed at the hospital ok you jus do.. supermom mode kicked in. we were in for 8 days and at one stage the pain was so bad for cailtin she had to have ketamine as well as her morphine.....
when i got home i jus collasped. exausted.....
spent 2 days at home one of them i collasped when i wa sin morrison shopping then on the sat the 3rd day out my youngest daughter go rushed into hospital too. staid in overnight got sent home on the sunday afternoon with her canula in still to go back sunday night for anti bs thru the canula.. couldnt make that one up could i.. supermom came back out again of course..
back home on the monday collasped again.. stress,anxiety exaustoion... thought the easter hols would do me good sleep and all but i jus kept gettin worse and worse. not able to drive my car so luckily i have a good friend who can take me to my meetings. got a brill sponser who is their for me..
last night jus lost it....
lost lost lost my way.
didnt drink didnt even enter my head.. nearly 4 yrs sober now.. but my mh.. oh boy... shocking
so wait to see what my pysch comes up with.. and fingers crossed if i get this respite place for a few day they can help me.
rang and spoke to them today
they do coping skills ect ect ect.. jus what i need cus i cant keep falling apart every time cailtin has an op. bloody ell she due another end of yr so ye... 
bring on the coping skills and respite
see if it helps
fingers crossed hope has come back into my life as i took action today and did something about the way im feeling.. lots of blood tests to be doen too
over and out for now xx