Crazy, crazy changes
October 2020
On the 2nd I had my ablation on my heart. All went well. Went to my mom's the day after and stayed with her for a few days. We had some of the best talks ever. Then I get told my brother and sister have decided in the middle of the pandemic to move her from the place she has been at for 12+ years and all her friends. To a new place 2 blocks from my brother. I would not be able to visit her and my brother and sister would switch each week to go and clean, do laundry,set up her meds and whatever else they could do in 2 hours. This was on the 4th she moved on the 19th. The beginning of the end. Packing her things was very hard for her as she had to get rid of almost everything including her furniture. My sister was a drill Sargeant with her and many tears were shed by mom. The last day I saw her was the12th.
November 2020
Aydan turned 1 on the 11th.
December 2020
On the 17th I went by ambulance to the hospital with a 102.3 temp, difficulty breathing and very weak. They admitted me immediately and put me in quarantine, took a covid test, lots of blood work and chest x-rays. Put on oxygen and gave me Tylenol. Covid was negative so they took another test, blood work showed some sort of infection going on and chest x-rays were normal for me. I was on oxygen for 4 days then during the night twice they had to put me on it as my levels kept dropping. Everyday for 7 days I had blood work and chest x-rays. Had a total of 5 covid tests 2 were sent to Mayo, all were negative. The 6th night after the infectious disease Dr finished his day at the clinic he came to see me, 7 pm. He was totally confused as no could figure out what was wrong with me. He sat with me for an hour and a half. The last thing he told me was that if I still did not feel any better or felt worse I was to stay in the hospital. The next morning at 5 I woke up with 2 different extreme headaches. They gave me Tylenol and ice packs. At 8 the hospitality came in turned on all the lights and opened the drapes. Told me to look at her which I refused to do because it hurt so bad. Her next words were make a case for me to keep you here. Told her I was worse with the headaches . She said not good enough you are being discharged at 1. Then told her read my chart from last night the ID Dr does not want me to go home if not better or worse. She tried to tell me it does not say that anywhere. Well the computer was next to me and pointed at me and when I pointed it out she closed it out quickly and said you are going home today and walked out of the room. I tried to get someone else but was unable to. Luckily for me the hospital social worker called me before I left and I was crying and as we talked she said I am setting you up with home Healthcare. You will have a nurse, a health aide, physical and occupational thetapists and a social worker to get you moved to a healthier place. She was a Godsend. The nurse showed up the next day which was Christmas eve, she said the aide could come the next day and I said no let her enjoy Christmas she come the day after. She had no idea when the therapists would come and that they would call me. Same with the social worker. Had Christmas with my best friend as the boys figured I was not up to spending the night. So I saw each of them over New Years weekend.
January 2021
The nurse and the aide each were coming 3 days a week for the entire month. The therapists realized I really did not need them so after 2 weeks they closed out. The social worker was AWESOME! She worked hard and got me into the assisted living place in Waconia that I wanted. The state had to do an assessment on me for my needs in assisted living. That was a 3 1/2 hour phone call. I now had to figure out how to get packed as I was not supposed to exert myself because when I did I would swell way up. Jono and I went to look and do paperwork at the place I was moving to. Since I was going to be on a cadi waiver I was supposed to be in a studio apartment. Well between my social worker and psychiatrist I got a 1 bedroom apartment instead. They had 3 sizes and I got the best one. I was scheduled to move in around February 22nd.
February 2021
It was very slow going trying to get ready to move. I threw alot of things away but packing was very difficult. I did get alot done but no where near ready. Jono and Amanda came the weekend before and really busted their butts getting things done. On the 26th they showed up at 8 and had everything loaded and were cleaning by the time Joey and Nikki got there at 10. So I left the keys and a note for Jono to put under the office door and went to the bank and drug store with Joey. And then they surprised me and we stopped at Target and they bought me a 54in t.v. and wall mount for housewarming, Christmas and my birthday. By the time we got to the apartment I was bombarded by workers. First had paper work to sign, did not have a clue what I was signing, as they shoved it at me and gave quick explanations. As this is going on a nurse comes in and wants to go through all of my meds. So I am now being talked to by 2 people at the same time, the kids are coming in and out distracting me. Then I get lunch delivered to me. So much of the day was such a blur. Amanda unpacked my kitchen for me which was a big blessing. In comes the head nurse wanting to take BP, temp and oxygen. Then a care giver comes with meds, next the head admin comes in with the guy I had been dealing with all along. Then the nurse who was writing down all my meds brings them back and tells me I have to dispose them properly. I never did and am I glad I didn't. Then supper is delivered and Joey being Joey goes boy mom Brooke eats more than that. He has no idea about proper portions although while I lived there there were times the meals were not enough.
March 2021
Trying to settle in. My assessment still has not been approved so I was worried I would be kicked out. I could not for the life me get up the energy or state of mind to unpack. I did get settled into the routine of things breakfast was delivered between 7 and 8:30, med passer was in by 10, lunch came at 11:30, afternoon meds at 2, supper came at 4:30 and bedtime meds between 9-10 (I was one of the last one for meds because I did not go to bed by or before 9).
I finally got to see my mom on March 20th, her 89th birthday. Just over 5 months without seeing her. I talked to her a few times every week but not the same. Boy had she changed. She looked so sad and was very quiet. She did smile and give me a big hug, she never did that, when she saw me and kissed my cheek. We had a nice time it was me, mom my sister and her husband and my brother and his wife at their house. After we had cake we went downstairs as there was some things of mom's still to get rid of and to make sure none of us wanted it. Well there was a simple wooden Christmas tree that mom had gotten at a craft fair the year before she moved. Wendy did not put it in her new apartment at Christmas. Mom said I want that. My sister told her no it didn't fit. Mom dropped her head and shed a few tears. The next day mom called me just crying over this tree. I told her I would say I wanted it and get it for her. That calmed her down, or so I thought. I called my brother the next and mom had also called him in tears so he had already called my sister and ripped her good. He told her it was MOM'S apartment and not my sister's. He said you decorated it how you like when she moved in and did the same at Christmas. Knock it off, she is 89 years old and can have things how she wants them whether it is your way or not!
That night my mom was having trouble sleeping so she got up and read for awhile. When she went back to bed she tripped over a small old fashioned wooden step stool and fractured 3 ribs on her left side. She called my brother in the morning (March 23rd) and he took her to urgent care who immediately put her in an ambulance and sent her to the hospital. This was Tuesday. The hospital was right across the street from me. The only one who could visit was my brother due to covid. Friday late afternoon I got a call to get over there as the pulmonologist did not think she would make it through the night. I was also to let my boys know so we could all say goodbye. Well she surprised all of us and woke up Saturday morning, confused but still with it most of the time. So us 3 kids set up a schedule my sister took the morning shift, my brother the afternoon and I went after I ate supper. They had told us she did not hit her head but I know she did because I found the bump. She really deteriorated mentally and we all learned a lot of things we did not know. One thing I learned was when the chaplain was there talking to her during my shift that I had always been her favorite (SHOCK) not how she treated me. She said Jim would never let her make a decision and Wendy always bossed her around and disagreed with her. Her time frames would intertwine while she was talking from when we were babies to present day. I think she knew that though as she said from baby on up I was the best. Wendy was fussy and Jim was well he did things his way. She continued this way throughout the weekend so we had to find a place for hospice. On Tuesday at noon I put her in a medical van thinking this would be the last time I would see her alive. She was back at the hospital by 8am on Wednesday. The nurse got her up and put her in her chair, now she had no strength to even stand on her own, then the nurse went to get her breakfast. She was not 2 steps outside of mom's room and she heard a crash. Mom had tried to stand up and fell and crushed her right hip. We had a conference with the Dr that afternoon after a full assessment with surgeons, pulmonary and her doctor. If they were going to surgery they could not put her out it would have to be with an epidural and because of condition they would not replace the hip they would just pin the 2 large pieces together. We decided against that. Just keep her comfortable and let her go. She had a DNR/DNI. Because I knew it would not be long I asked the Dr if she would stay at the hospital or go back to hospice. He said oh no she is staying right here. So on Thursday morning my brother closed out her hospice care, at the same time the palliative Dr was telling my sister that she had to go back to hospice. She called my brother right away and he had just left the nursing home. He went right back and her room was already taken. This was on Holy Thursday. I prayed mom would die on Easter (rise with Jesus). They kept searching for a place to send mom, if she made it to Monday they were sending her to a hospice home in the cities. God answered my prayers He called her home on April 4th, Easter at 4:30am. I got to the hospital at 7:15. I walked in her room to the most beautiful site. Mom was smiling. Looked so peaceful, no wrinkles at all. And she was glowing. Literally! My sister was crying and I asked her why look at mom she is happy and the Holy spirit is in her. She asked is that why she is glowing. I looked at my sister stunned. We both were raised the same way church and Sunday school every Sunday vacation Bible school in the summer and she goes to church every Sunday with her entire family and she did not know this? She asked me how did I know that. I simply answered I feel the Holy Spirit in me too. I said a prayer I my mind, kissed mom, told her I loved her and to hug and kiss Jerred for me.
Her funeral and death was the easiest I have ever dealt with, the hardest part was Aydan saying bye bye at the casket.
Now I knew why I had been unable to unpack. I was getting a decent inheritance and being on a cadi waiver I would lose it all by paying over 3 times as much as I was. I had to get a plan in place and figure out where I was going to live and that it would be affordable for like 8-10 years minimum.
May 2021
Still just going with the flow. Jono moved out from Amanda as she is the female version of my ex, closet alcoholic. He moved 5 minutes away from me. So I was able to see him and Aydan quite a bit. Finally got my cadi waiver approved. I still had not told anyone I would be getting an inheritance since I did not know when I would be getting it. I did start looking for an apartment in Waconia. They were to expensive. Or none available at the time. Celebrated my 62nd birthday. Right now do not even remember what I did...lol
June 2021
Joey comes and takes me to a Dr apt and has the idea that instead of finding an apartment in Waconia which is a suburb of the cities to move out by them in Hutchinson which is alot cheaper. But he said mom move in with us and take your time to find one that you like. Jono was not thrilled with the idea for selfish reasons but did agree to it. So now I know where I will be going at least.
Towards the middle of the month my brother calls and says he can start distribution of the inheritance. I asked him to wait until July 5th. Then I told admin that I would be moving the end of July as I would be getting an inheritance and did not want it to go to the state. I told them I was first moving to my sons for a while until I found a place and had no clue yet when the money would be coming.
July 2021
Well it's time to start packing. Yeah right! I pushed it right up to the end. The weekend before I moved Joey and Nikki came and took as much as they could. Mostly stuff for the burn pile. I was also very sad because I knew the day I moved out there would be Jack's (my cat) last day on earth. He had arthritis pretty and I didn't know until Joey and Nikki came back with 2nd load and Jack in his kennel that he had a bladder problem. The move itself was quite an ordeal. Jono couldn't help(actually wouldnt) help because he had a softball tournament and hurt his ankle Friday night (supposedly). So all we had was a small horse trailer and Traverse(SUV/minivan) which on first trip back right when we're 10 miles away from the farm blew a rod. So we sat on a major state highway calling for help. The week before Joey's work car did the same thing. A neighbor came picked me up and they got a hold of a tow truck which turned out to be a blessing as he wanted both vehicles so the tow was free. Then they had to go get new car and then pick up a truck from a friend go back to my old apartment get the rest of everything including Jack. By the time they got back it was after 10. Over 12 hours to move me. I said goodbye to Jack through the kennel and Joey took him back to the pit put him down through the kennel then started a fire so no animals could get to him. Once everything was unloaded it was 1am.
I miss Jack but they have 5 cats 3 that are almost identical looking to him. Has made it a lot easier for me.
August 2021- present
I will not lie it is hard to live with a family of 5 when you have been on your own for 13 years. I do have my own room but I still do not have the peace and quiet and privacy I was used to. I am not complaining though and am very grateful to be here. It worked great if I had a Dr's app as Joey would drop me off at Jonos on his way to work and then my friend Nancy would come and take me to my appointment and we would spend time together. Or if Jono needed me to babysit Joey would drop me in the morning and jono would bring me home. This worked great until the last week of September when Joey got a new job and did not go through Waconia anymore. I got to have Aydan out here Labor Day weekend and it was fabulous. I also still babysit just about every other Friday. There have been a few that did not work out. Last week we found out Nikki had covid. So the kids, Joey, Nikki and I have all been home for over a week. Nikki was able to go back to work today, the kids go back to school next Tuesday and Joey can not go back until the 8th. Makes no sense to me. I am just glad I have not gotten it and keep praying hard I don't.
The last year of my life in a nutshell. Lots of great things have happened, some bad things and some ok that's life. The best thing of all is my 2 sons now talk to each other and get along after 9 years of not talking. My family is coming back together!!! I am planning on staying here through the winter and hoping I will have some good choices to pick from for my own place.
Replies
I know there are spelling errors I forgot to do a spellcheck...lol
OH darlin! That's a LOT! What a year+ you've have. I knew most of it, yet reading it all again, in this "listing format", my heart swelled new again as the tears ran fresh again.
I continue to pray for your health to improve and for you to find your perfect, safe, comfortable, and peaceful home.
THANK YOU for sharing your heart.
BIG LOVE from my heart to yours~
Thank you Teri! It has been quite the year that's for sure. Yes there was some rough spots but things have finally started to turn around for me. My entire adult life I have fought financially and mom helped me through many things. The having to ask for help was very humbling and hard. I never thought that I would be where I am now. No I am not rich but I finally have some stability. Being able to clear up my credit rating and now build it up feels like the world has lifted off my shoulders. Then getting out of the hell hole apartment building which literally was killing me with all the black mold and meth smoke made such a significant difference in my health within 1 month of being out of there. Now losing weight is also helping tremendously.
The longer I stay here at the farm will build my finances even more so I was happy they wanted me to stay through the winter. I love being with my Littles, part of family again, just wish I had a little more privacy and could be there more for Jono. He is one though that keeps a lot to himself and the stubbornness to do it by himself. Got that from me since I had to do it all when his dad was with us, and after. I had only myself to rely on. He is the same way. I am so proud of both boys and the men they have become. Both have great jobs and are fabulous daddies.
Looking forward already to Christmas because we will be having a real family Christmas together something that has not happened in 10 years. We were always at my moms and most of the time only 1 of my boys would show up to avoid the other. NO more they are talking and getting along now. Still have a ways to go but it's so much better than before.
You know things are better that I am off all my antidepressants and feel better with out them.
Lots of love and hugs to you my sweet friend
SO much positive progress has, and is, being made! And more to come! WooHOOOOOO!
I'm so excited for you for Christmas this year!!!! BOTH SONS!!! OH what true JOY my heart feels for you all!!!!!!
Thank you Teri!!!
Happy Halloween
So much…but happy ending…I’m so glad…xo
Wow, Susie! You have been through a lot. I’m hoping you continue to feel well and that your Christmas is a blessed time with your sons. Hugs, Linda
Thanks ladies. This crazy road has had a lot of bumps and highs. The highs make everything else right now seem minor.
Hugs and love my dear SOTHS