cant stay long today. the other day i found a lady on facebook that ithought could help me piece or find out more about my childhood. well once again i was disappointed. she did know the women i wished to talk to but emailed me the next day and said the women hated my parents and wanted nothing to do with me. i am sick and tired of being put down rejected and hated because of who my parents are and for what they have done. i just wanted answers, i wanted a childhood memorie that was more than abuse. this just confurms what ED tells me daily. i am worthless, fat ugly, no good piece of crap that no one wants. i would never take my own life because of my kids but i do pray God would just take me to heaven very soon.  i so wanted to stay positive but life sucks and mine is crumbling fast.
i have been checking journals and sending hugs. i do care about all my friends and wish you all the best.



Hun, I am so sorry for your pain. I wish I could do or say something to help you. You have such a beautiful family that is your strength must come from. Their innocence, laughter. I do not know what your parents did in their past or did to you, but you are here, alive , safe from abuse. No one is worthless and you just have to get yourself together to find the right person. If your childhood was so awful, do you really want to keep focusing on it? Maybe focus on what you want now and in your future, your kids, changing things, meeting someone new and begin your life again? Every day is a new day. It is never too late. HUGS!!!!!!!