crazy....

the world feels like its falling so fast i dont know what to do with it my life feels like its falling so fast like a rock or and egg falling from a high building thanks to gravity it falls at the same speed but witch one shall be better a rock that can survive the fall and still be in one peace or an egg that shatters into lil bitty shells , i feel like im being pulled in thousands of directions friends family debt bills my self responsibilities my mom dont know this but i doubt ill make her a grandmother everwhat if 2012 does happen will i be alone till then will i party it up  i just wanna give up right now and become a drug attic so bad i dont wanna deal with my pain any more i dont i wanna feel good how do i feel good i caint seem to do it with out having someone there to protect me from it the bad i hate life im not gunna lie  i want out so bad how do i get these thoughts to end so much i should start writing again maybe i can make good money bye being a writer write my shit down hmmm i wounder if i could i always wanted to write a thought  blah i wanna screem so bad i hate it i wanna be with my people in my life that past away i dont know where that is but i wanna be there