court today

We have our first court hearing today. Two months from when she left. She is lying about everything right now, saying I threw her out, I cheated on her, that I abused her (mentally), that I'm a bad father, etc.
She doesn't love me and maybe never did. I'm pretty sure now she married me for money and to make her parents happy. She put up the loving wife act for a while, and then was just there for a couple years, and then left.
She is hanging out with the cokeheads again. I am sure she is doing pot and coke and probably has been. Early in our marriage she did some drugs in front of me and with the step-son in the room. We had a huge fight and she never did that again, but she still hangs out with those same people. Often times without me anymore.
My sister says request drug screening as a condition for shared custody. Maybe I should. I dunno, seems weird to ask that. But then I am codependent so maybe that rearing its ugly head.
I am not perfect. I'm human. But I did everything to meet the family's needs. I still look out for my daughter, and when she is with me I give her quality time and enjoy every second. We play, we bike, we laugh. I know she's not getting much of that with the stbx.
Hell the stbx yelled at her for asking for a glass of milk. She often treated my daughter like she was an extension of me, getting angry at her when she was angry at me.
Last week when my daughter was over my wife came to pack (the last time) and my daughter didnt say hi to her back, despite my stbx asking twice to say hi. And didnt want to give her a hug. She finally did as she was leaving, but there is something going on there.

Replies

buffetcrasher
buffetcrasher

One thing I learn about people is you can\'t change facts, but someone will always want to distort the truth. You know what you\'ve seen, if the drug habits are something that is brought into play that could be a big question of whether she is capable of caring for your daughter.

It\'s not a dirty tactic to request a drug screening when the safety of your daughter is at stake here. It should show the stbx is not the stable person she is trying to portray you as not being. Roll with it, don\'t let her manipulative ways drag you down.

Not a recommendation or anything, but having others present at the time your daughter and stbx are around can provide comfort & support for you, OR another set of eyes to see how she treats her. The judge should only be looking at the facts, and I think many of her accusations are done to remove her ineptitude as a parent from the picture.