Counting Down
Well, today is the 10 month mark for me. Like Linda said in response to my 9 month journal entry; there comes a point when you start counting down to the big 1 year mark. I can say that I am definitely at that point. I know that it is just a date on the calendar, and no magic transformation will occur, but I still want to get it over with. There is just something about being finished with the “Year of Firsts.”
For some reason, I did a mini evaluation of my journey today. I tried to go back, and remember 7 or 8 months ago what I thought my life would be like now. In all honesty, I have to say that I am doing better than I could have imagined. I’ve had A LOT of help along the way, and for that I am thankful. I still have my moments, and I am the first to admit that I don’t have it figured out, but growth is happening.
Keep on keeping on, and hoping…
For some reason, I did a mini evaluation of my journey today. I tried to go back, and remember 7 or 8 months ago what I thought my life would be like now. In all honesty, I have to say that I am doing better than I could have imagined. I’ve had A LOT of help along the way, and for that I am thankful. I still have my moments, and I am the first to admit that I don’t have it figured out, but growth is happening.
Keep on keeping on, and hoping…
Replies
Tim-
I hit 21-mos last week, but I remember wanting to get past the 1-year mark. I\'m not sure why that is such a benchmark, but I guess something about realizing you are still standing after 1 year helps. I can\'t say that year 2 is necessarily easier--just different. For me, year 1 was about figuring out how to get up alone each day and find the strength to take a stab at what life had to throw at me that day. Year 2 has been more about figuring out who I am as one person, rather than as part of a couple, and trying to honor Jeff by doing the things I know would make him proud. The sadness and the longing remains, but there is an acceptance that I\'m not in charge and that God will show me His intended path for me in time. Your positive attitude and sense of humor will go a long way toward that acceptance. I wish you as smooth a path as possible and know that Melissa will be there to guide you when you falter. With running shoes, a guitar, great kids, and an ability to laugh, you can\'t go wrong.....even in Kansas---Smiles, CJ
Tim,
\"Year of Firsts\" Yes, this first year is a tough one. I am only 6 1/2 months into this travesty but am already planning how I will spend that day. Blessings to you as you continue to grow, to learn and to accept a future without your Melissa. Keep on keeping on... and hoping
Linda
I want this first year gone also. I too realize that a miracle will not happen. I want to be moving on by then. I want to have his DESK behind me. So hard to even walk by it. I, like Carol, have had some experience in taking care of myself. While my husband was in Nam with the Corp. I wish that I still had a job. I want to focus on a home business. I need to get back to work on the website. I need something to hang on to. To look fwd to. Right now, other than our King, I have no reason to go on. I hope to have some friends to spend time with by the one year mark. I have lifelong friends but they are not close geographically. I do hope to form some bonds however. I don\'t have another 60 years to build what I have out there in CA. Still have friends that I started kindergarten with. Love to all, Val
Tim, I am just over 3 months and when I read a journal such as yours it gives me some hope for my future. I am happy for you that you are able to move forward, hugs Lu Ann