Counseling Update
OK, so the lady I saw today is a counselor BUT she's just the intake coordinator. So, she discussed things with me, asked DH a few small questions, but for the most part since my family doctor only put me down on the referral, things are all about me. I wanted it for both Dh and I, but I digress. The lady today was nice and in the end decided that the reproductive counselor (Dr. P) they have on staff would likely be the best fit since my depression is worsened most by my IF.
She's also going to put me in a group session to learn coping skills (since my learned by example coping skills are to just hide away from the situation/things making me feel bad). Unfortunately there are no appointments with Dr. P until July, but she's putting me on the cancellation list so there's an opportunity for me to get in to see him sooner. She ended the meeting with urging me to call her if I really needed someone to talk to between now and then and she could sit and talk with me. There's also a crisis hotline available and the option of going to the ER and talking to a social worker who can get me in to see a psychiatrist within a few days if I REALLY need it. Hopefully I won't get that bad between now and then.
So, things went well today, but now I have a longish wait to see Dr. P and hopefully get myself back on the right path. The only thing I didn't like about this lady is that she's kind of dead set on medication to 'assist' with the process. She didn't come out and say it, but she did kind of say I should keep all options for myself open since medication can help in the short term. I don't want to screw up my treatments or chances of conceiving, so I'm very hesitant to take any medications for depression. It's a small issue for now, since she's not the person I'll be talking to in the end.
She's also going to put me in a group session to learn coping skills (since my learned by example coping skills are to just hide away from the situation/things making me feel bad). Unfortunately there are no appointments with Dr. P until July, but she's putting me on the cancellation list so there's an opportunity for me to get in to see him sooner. She ended the meeting with urging me to call her if I really needed someone to talk to between now and then and she could sit and talk with me. There's also a crisis hotline available and the option of going to the ER and talking to a social worker who can get me in to see a psychiatrist within a few days if I REALLY need it. Hopefully I won't get that bad between now and then.
So, things went well today, but now I have a longish wait to see Dr. P and hopefully get myself back on the right path. The only thing I didn't like about this lady is that she's kind of dead set on medication to 'assist' with the process. She didn't come out and say it, but she did kind of say I should keep all options for myself open since medication can help in the short term. I don't want to screw up my treatments or chances of conceiving, so I'm very hesitant to take any medications for depression. It's a small issue for now, since she's not the person I'll be talking to in the end.
Replies
I am so glad things went good today.. and the group session things sounds like its going to be a big help.. best of luck
July seems far away, but I\'m sure the group session will be just what you need in the meantime.
Well that seems a bit anticlimactic but it is progress. Are you able to start the group stuff sooner? I don\'t know how your insurance works but mine will cover individual counseling but not couples counseling, DH could be there, but ultimately it would be about my crap and healing. Maybe yours is the same way?? But I shouldn\'t assume since Canada is prob way different.
I kinda see her point about the meds, but I also see that you are getting more active, and I don\'t know that you really need the meds. I was on meds years ago in college and I guess they helped, but now that I know me and my body better, I think I have a better handle on things. I know that the day before I ovulate and the day I ovulate I\'m a piece of lazy exhausted crap, same thing with the week before my period. Well I always assumed that my lack of motivation was depression, it\'s just hormones. Well that and the fact that I\'m a lazy procrastinator. :) So if you aren\'t comfortable with meds, try the group stuff, try getting to know your body/habits/rhythms better. And also realize that you have ALOT of bad crap going on, with IF, your dad, your brother....... Meds aren\'t going to fix those things, but good counseling and sharing those experiences/feelings and dealing with them, will help bunches. Cuz eventually you have to go off the meds, and if you haven\'t learned any coping skills, then you\'ll be right back in the same place. Plus I got addicted to the anti-depressents, that sucked. It was hard to get off them.
Sorry to keep rambling. Had alot to say I guess.
Well, this clinic is covered by OHIP, the provincial health care, but not all counseling is. Our insurance through DH\'s work only covers up to $300, which is definitely not enough. The problem here is that my family doc misunderstood what I\'d meant, but that\'s ok. DH\'s problems really stem from watching me suffer and not be able to help, and DH is welcome to attend the sessions with me (dunno about the group ones).
I see her point about the meds helping in the short term, but it\'s also going to interfere with any and all IF treatments I have in that short term. Since most of my issues stem from my IF, I think it\'s counter-productive to limit/interfere with my chances of success at the moment.
I\'m definitely going to give everything a try, but I am still adamant about avoiding the meds unless it\'s ABSOLUTELY necessary. I\'m not suicidal, I know I have a lot to live for. I just need some help learning how to deal with my issues and how to self-motivate when I just feel so shitty that I can\'t find the motivation within me to do ANYTHING. (I\'ve done housework, including dishes, only once a week for the past 2 weeks. That cooking I was starting to do... yeah, lost motivation to keep going on that. The only thing I\'ve kept for the most part is walking at least 10 minutes per day.) So, as much as I\'m anxious about the sessions, individual or group, I\'m also anticipating them.
Sounds like you have a good plan. I hope I don\'t sound like a know-it-all, all the time when I give suggestions on things. I just TOTALLY relate to you, but have found ways to kind of fight what I go through. I think it would be a REALLY good idea for you to track some of this. See how it tracks with your hormones, timing of your cycle. See if there are times when you are more or less motivated. When I did that and found it was related to my cycle, it really opened my eyes. Something else I\'ve done is made a meal planning list, so I don\'t have to think of what to make. I have a list of what sounded good, what I bought all the ingredients for and then I have to choose one of those items to cook. BUT I also make sure to make a big batch and either we eat off it for a few days, so I don\'t have to cook the next day. Or I freeze it, so I have a quick meal the next time I don\'t want to cook. I also hate hate hate dishes, so I try to work on them for about 5-10 minutes a day, so they don\'t back up on me. BUT I make myself a list of what I HAVE to do, I do the crappy stuff and then reward myself with a tv show. :)