Counseling

Today was the first day of IC in at least a year and it couldn't have come at a better time. H was away on business, pretty down last week and parts of this week, as with some others on the board I'm starting to think that I won't fully heal until H changes his job which would be a complete field change. (another topic)
As much as I was looking forward to today I was also dreading it because I didn't want to rehash my story. My story goes deeper than the A's and my H's betrayal but I hold that for another day.
What bothers me about rehashing is that I feel like therapist is thinking why the hell is she with her H and that any person in their right mind would never have stuck it out. She didn't say that and if anything she asked me why I worry about what others think so much. I left in a good place. These thoughts just came up.
I talked to H about it and realized that I am doing what she says worrying about what someone else is thinking about me. She doesn't know what my H has done since D-Day and she doesn't know what he was going through at the time of A's. There is no excuse but I understand the desperation and mental breakdown he was having. I was there and can understand everything he says I just can't justify it because I was going through my own hell. TG he's not looking for that.
Long story short, I'm glad it's over and looking forward to next week. It was a good move.