coumadin failure

coumadin failure
Those are the words my hematologist used.
I'm off coumadin and now on Lovenox "for life" or until there is a better alternative.
It is past my bedtime, but I cannot bring myself to give myself my first injection.
I have done this before.  Twice.
With each of my PEs- in 2005 and 2008.
But each time before I knew it was only for 10 days, until the coumadin got in my system.
This time it is forever...
I don't want to give myself my first shot- the beginning of forever.