COULD BE COMING TRUE
IT'S KIND OF FUNNY WHEN AFTER TWO YEARS OF BEING HERE THAT I WOULD ACTUALLY PUT ONE OF MY JOURNALS AS FRIENDS ONLY, ONLY TO KEEP THIS INFO AWAY FROM ONE NOSEY ASS MOTHER IN LAW.LOL.
OK, ON TO WHY I'M HERE: WELL, I TITLED THIS ONE COULD BE COMING TRUE, BECAUSE ONE OF MY FINAL PURPOSES ON EARTH COULD BE VERY WELL COMING TRUE IN 9 MONTHS. DANIELLE COULD VERY WELL BE PREGNANT. THERE ARE LOTS OF SIGNS THAT ARE SAYING THAT SHE IS. SHE'S A WEEK LATE, SHE'S BEEN PUKING UP A STORM, I'VE ALSO BEEN PUKING UP A STORM, HER BELLY IS QUITE FIRM MORE THAN USUAL, AND SHE FEELS PRESSURE IN HER BELLY, NOT TO MENTION THAT I JUST BELIEVE THAT SHE IS. I HAVE BEEN BREAKING OUT INTO THOSE TEARS OF OH MY GOD, THIS COULD REALLY BE HAPPENING. YOU KNOW THOSE TEARS THAT ARE JUST SO OVERWHELMING BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE SO BLESSED BY GOD THAT YOU CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THIS COULD ACTUALLY BE COMING TRUE AFTER LONGING FOR IT FOR SO LONG. I MEAN, FOR DANIELLE IT'S BEEN A DREAM OF HERS SINCE SHE HAS BEEN A LITTLE GIRL THAT SHE NEVER IMAGINED COULD POSSIBLY BE COMING TRUE.
OK, SO AM I GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF? MAYBE, AKA SHE HASN'T PEE'D ON A STICK AND HAVE A PLUS SIGN POP UP, OR 2 LINES, OR "PREGNANT" OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, BUT IT'S JUST THAT ANTICIPATION OF READING THE POSSIBLE SIGNS AND BELIEVING THAT THEY ARE REVEALING WHAT THE COMING FUTURE IS. EVER SINCE I HAVE STARTED THIS GOAL BACK IN JANUARY OF 08, I TRULY BELIEVED THAT SHE WOULD BE PREGNANT THAT MONTH UP UNTIL THE POINT WHERE SHE STARTED BLEEDING, THEN IT WAS LIKE, OK, NEXT MONTH IS THE MONTH.LOL. AND IT WAS LIKE THAT MONTH AFTER MONTH AFTER MONTH FOR ME. IT WAS HAPPENING UNTIL IT COULD BE ABSOLUTELY PROVEN THAT IT WASN'T. I'M THE SAME WAY WITH MY FAITH. I BELIEVE IT ALL, AND UNLESS IT CAN BE 100% DISPROVED, THEN I BELIEVE IT, AND WITH FAITH IN CHRIST, IT HAS YET TO BE DISPROVEN.
IT'S LIKE BELIEVING IN THE RAPTURE. IT CAN'T BE PROVEN, BUT IT CAN'T BE DISPROVEN EITHER, IT JUST HASN'T HAPPENED YET. WELL THIS IS HOW I HAVE UTTERLY BELIEVED THAT DANIELLE WOULD GET PREGNANT AND HAVE A BABY. IT'S LIKE, THIS IS THE SOLE REASON THAT I CAME INTO HER LIFE, TO BE THE FATHER OF HER CHILD. LIKE THE LORD WANTED TO USE ME PERSONALLY TO FORFILL THIS BEAUTIFUL WOMAN'S LIFETIME DREAM OF BECOMING A MOMMY TO A CHILD OF HER VERY OWN. THE ETERNAL BRIDES MAID OR IN THIS CASE BABY SITTER WOULD BECOME THE BRIDE, OR IN THIS CASE SHE WOULD BE THE MOMMY...AND I'M OVERWHELMED AT THIS POINT WITH GRATEFULNESS THAT IT JUST BRINGS TEARS TO MY EYES TO EVEN WRITE ABOUT IT. I DON'T KNOW WHO HAS SEEN "FACING THE GIANTS" BUT IT'S ABOUT A FOOTBALL COACH WHO IS TRYING TO HAVE A BABY WITH HIS WIFE, AND HE JUST FAILS OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, THEN AT THE END OF THE MOVIE, SHE'S PREGNANT, AND HE IS JUST DOUBLED OVER CRYING AT THE OVERWHELMING FEELING OF HOW MUCH HE HAS JUST BEEN BLESSED BY GOD. THAT'S WHERE I'M AT RIGHT NOW, AND IT'S VERY POSSIBLE THAT SHE MAY NOT EVEN BE PREGNANT. WE HAVE NO PROOF AT THIS POINT. I CAN'T BLAME HER, BUT SHE IS SCARED SHITLESS TO FIND OUT AND HAVE A NEGATIVE RESULT. IT'S A DISAPOINTMENT THAT SHE IS SICK AND TIRED OF FEELING MONTH AFTER MONTH AFTER MONTH. TO THE POINT WHERE SHE IS EXPECTING FOR THE WORST. LIFE HAS REALLY MADE HER PESSIMISTIC TO THE POSSIBILITY THAT SHE COULD EVER BE BLESSED BY THE LORD IN SUCH A TREMEMDOUS WAY. AS FOR ME, I'M THE ETERNAL OPTIMIST, AND BELIEVE GREATLY IN HAVING THE FAVOR AND ULTIMATE BLESSINGS FROM A LOVING FATHER ON A CONSTANT BASIS.
SO I VERY WELL THINK SHE IS PREGNANT, AND I REALLY DON'T NEED ANY PROOF TO VERIFY MY BELIEF. IT'S LIKE GOD MADE ME A PROMISE, AND I TRULY BELIEVE THAT IT WILL BE FORFILLED. PERIOD. SO WHY NOT NOW? WHY NOT US? WE'LL BE FINDING OUT FOR SURE IN THE COMING DAYS, SO THE REST OF THE WORLD CAN KEEP THEIR FINGERS AND TOES, AND WHATEVER CROSSED, BUT MY CONFIDENCE, AND THE WAY I SEE THINGS IS IT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED, I JUST HAVEN'T CROSSED THAT POINT ON THE CALENDAR YET, BUT THIS COULD VERY WELL BE THE MONTH THAT GOD INTENDED FOR DANIELLE TO TRULY BE PREGNANT, AND ALTHOUGH SHE WON'T BELIEVE UNTIL SHE PROBABLY PEE'S ON 5 STICKS THAT SAY PREGNANT, I BELIEVE THAT GOD IS UP IN THE BLIMP JUST SMILING AWAY ALREADY KNOWING THAT 9 MONTHS OR SO FROM NOW WE WILL HAVE A VERY BEAUTIFUL AND HEALTHY CHILD IN OUR ARMS, AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.
OK, ON TO WHY I'M HERE: WELL, I TITLED THIS ONE COULD BE COMING TRUE, BECAUSE ONE OF MY FINAL PURPOSES ON EARTH COULD BE VERY WELL COMING TRUE IN 9 MONTHS. DANIELLE COULD VERY WELL BE PREGNANT. THERE ARE LOTS OF SIGNS THAT ARE SAYING THAT SHE IS. SHE'S A WEEK LATE, SHE'S BEEN PUKING UP A STORM, I'VE ALSO BEEN PUKING UP A STORM, HER BELLY IS QUITE FIRM MORE THAN USUAL, AND SHE FEELS PRESSURE IN HER BELLY, NOT TO MENTION THAT I JUST BELIEVE THAT SHE IS. I HAVE BEEN BREAKING OUT INTO THOSE TEARS OF OH MY GOD, THIS COULD REALLY BE HAPPENING. YOU KNOW THOSE TEARS THAT ARE JUST SO OVERWHELMING BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE SO BLESSED BY GOD THAT YOU CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THIS COULD ACTUALLY BE COMING TRUE AFTER LONGING FOR IT FOR SO LONG. I MEAN, FOR DANIELLE IT'S BEEN A DREAM OF HERS SINCE SHE HAS BEEN A LITTLE GIRL THAT SHE NEVER IMAGINED COULD POSSIBLY BE COMING TRUE.
OK, SO AM I GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF? MAYBE, AKA SHE HASN'T PEE'D ON A STICK AND HAVE A PLUS SIGN POP UP, OR 2 LINES, OR "PREGNANT" OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, BUT IT'S JUST THAT ANTICIPATION OF READING THE POSSIBLE SIGNS AND BELIEVING THAT THEY ARE REVEALING WHAT THE COMING FUTURE IS. EVER SINCE I HAVE STARTED THIS GOAL BACK IN JANUARY OF 08, I TRULY BELIEVED THAT SHE WOULD BE PREGNANT THAT MONTH UP UNTIL THE POINT WHERE SHE STARTED BLEEDING, THEN IT WAS LIKE, OK, NEXT MONTH IS THE MONTH.LOL. AND IT WAS LIKE THAT MONTH AFTER MONTH AFTER MONTH FOR ME. IT WAS HAPPENING UNTIL IT COULD BE ABSOLUTELY PROVEN THAT IT WASN'T. I'M THE SAME WAY WITH MY FAITH. I BELIEVE IT ALL, AND UNLESS IT CAN BE 100% DISPROVED, THEN I BELIEVE IT, AND WITH FAITH IN CHRIST, IT HAS YET TO BE DISPROVEN.
IT'S LIKE BELIEVING IN THE RAPTURE. IT CAN'T BE PROVEN, BUT IT CAN'T BE DISPROVEN EITHER, IT JUST HASN'T HAPPENED YET. WELL THIS IS HOW I HAVE UTTERLY BELIEVED THAT DANIELLE WOULD GET PREGNANT AND HAVE A BABY. IT'S LIKE, THIS IS THE SOLE REASON THAT I CAME INTO HER LIFE, TO BE THE FATHER OF HER CHILD. LIKE THE LORD WANTED TO USE ME PERSONALLY TO FORFILL THIS BEAUTIFUL WOMAN'S LIFETIME DREAM OF BECOMING A MOMMY TO A CHILD OF HER VERY OWN. THE ETERNAL BRIDES MAID OR IN THIS CASE BABY SITTER WOULD BECOME THE BRIDE, OR IN THIS CASE SHE WOULD BE THE MOMMY...AND I'M OVERWHELMED AT THIS POINT WITH GRATEFULNESS THAT IT JUST BRINGS TEARS TO MY EYES TO EVEN WRITE ABOUT IT. I DON'T KNOW WHO HAS SEEN "FACING THE GIANTS" BUT IT'S ABOUT A FOOTBALL COACH WHO IS TRYING TO HAVE A BABY WITH HIS WIFE, AND HE JUST FAILS OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, THEN AT THE END OF THE MOVIE, SHE'S PREGNANT, AND HE IS JUST DOUBLED OVER CRYING AT THE OVERWHELMING FEELING OF HOW MUCH HE HAS JUST BEEN BLESSED BY GOD. THAT'S WHERE I'M AT RIGHT NOW, AND IT'S VERY POSSIBLE THAT SHE MAY NOT EVEN BE PREGNANT. WE HAVE NO PROOF AT THIS POINT. I CAN'T BLAME HER, BUT SHE IS SCARED SHITLESS TO FIND OUT AND HAVE A NEGATIVE RESULT. IT'S A DISAPOINTMENT THAT SHE IS SICK AND TIRED OF FEELING MONTH AFTER MONTH AFTER MONTH. TO THE POINT WHERE SHE IS EXPECTING FOR THE WORST. LIFE HAS REALLY MADE HER PESSIMISTIC TO THE POSSIBILITY THAT SHE COULD EVER BE BLESSED BY THE LORD IN SUCH A TREMEMDOUS WAY. AS FOR ME, I'M THE ETERNAL OPTIMIST, AND BELIEVE GREATLY IN HAVING THE FAVOR AND ULTIMATE BLESSINGS FROM A LOVING FATHER ON A CONSTANT BASIS.
SO I VERY WELL THINK SHE IS PREGNANT, AND I REALLY DON'T NEED ANY PROOF TO VERIFY MY BELIEF. IT'S LIKE GOD MADE ME A PROMISE, AND I TRULY BELIEVE THAT IT WILL BE FORFILLED. PERIOD. SO WHY NOT NOW? WHY NOT US? WE'LL BE FINDING OUT FOR SURE IN THE COMING DAYS, SO THE REST OF THE WORLD CAN KEEP THEIR FINGERS AND TOES, AND WHATEVER CROSSED, BUT MY CONFIDENCE, AND THE WAY I SEE THINGS IS IT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED, I JUST HAVEN'T CROSSED THAT POINT ON THE CALENDAR YET, BUT THIS COULD VERY WELL BE THE MONTH THAT GOD INTENDED FOR DANIELLE TO TRULY BE PREGNANT, AND ALTHOUGH SHE WON'T BELIEVE UNTIL SHE PROBABLY PEE'S ON 5 STICKS THAT SAY PREGNANT, I BELIEVE THAT GOD IS UP IN THE BLIMP JUST SMILING AWAY ALREADY KNOWING THAT 9 MONTHS OR SO FROM NOW WE WILL HAVE A VERY BEAUTIFUL AND HEALTHY CHILD IN OUR ARMS, AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.
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