Coping with Sorrow
I had been feeling better and a little more positive after spending the three day holiday alone. Believe it or not, I was happy to get back to work on Monday to take my mind off being alone. By last eveing I was getting excited about one of my females having pups in a month. I haven't had any pups here in over a year and I do really enjoy having them around for a while before they go to their new homes. That would help me cope for a while. As I was sitting and thinking about, it my Brother called. He has been battling Bladder and Rectal cancer since last Summer when we found out my husband had cancer. He has already had one operation to remove his bladder and since then had developed a tumor in the rectum. He has had four rounds of chemotherapy to shrink the tumor in order to make it operable. About two weeks ago, he was told by one of his Doctors that he is in full remission and they could not see the tumor on the CT scan. Now, this week after another visit to the oncologist they are saying the tumor is now growing into the rectum. He already knew something was wrong when over the holiday weekend there were some changes and he was not feeling the best. I am heartbroken at the possibility of losing him too. It was very difficult having both my husband and my brother battling cancer for all those months before Mike died. We were so positive about my Brother getting through all of this. They are planning on some radiation treatments, but my Brother finally said to me, "I have a bad feeling about this." He is not a negative person so this statement really upsets me. What does he know? This is a lot to deal with.
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