Coping, just

It is not just my honesty I have to deal with and confront, i have another issue that I must beat as well. Unfortunately the two operate in tandem with each other, so in order to beat one, I must beat both. No more excuses, no more moments of weakness, no more bullshit about myself. I hope I am strong enough to do this. If I am able to be honest with my wife, then I will be able to, but the hardest point is making sure I come clean if I slip on anything and tell her immediately. It will be an awfully hard habit to break, one that I have done repeatedly over and over throughout my life. The automatic lie. I must just keep telling myself to think before I speak if asked something I might lie about, of which there is an awful lot of things, and if I do lie to retract it straight away, apologise for lying and tell the truth. My only way forward is to do that, and keep doing it until that is my automatic response. My other issue I can also overcome, I know I can. I am going to become a better man.