Convention in November

I'm sorry I haven't written on here for about a week.  I have been extremely busy working on an exegetical for school, that I am close to finishing up.   Last weeks counseling session was helpful.  She gave me techniques in which to ground myself when I have a flashback.  The ones I have had are in regards to body memories, which are horrible.  This Friday is "Take Back the Night," and I plan on going to that, whether providing.  I am passionate about helping others who have gone through the same situation as me because I do not want anyone to go through it.  I still hate the fact that he drugged me, but my feelings toward him are very ambivalent.  One part of me wants him to come to Christ, and the other part hates him with a passion for what he did.  How do you all handle your feelings towards those who hurt you?  Any advice? I am going to the National Missionary Convention in Tulsa, OK from November 20-23, 2008.  I am so excited, and the nice thing is that it is FREE since I am working at a homeless shelter doing inner city missions.  God is so good!!! Love ya!!!