Try again.
New schedule, new plan.
sleep right, eat right, exercise
Read the Bible & pray
if I just try harder maybe things will get better
Work on my therapy,
take my meds,
keep my doc appointments
talk with my friends.
Check, check, check
make a list and get it done.
Try harder, just try harder.
Can I let go?
Can I say as Jesus did "Father forgive them for they know not what they do?"
And then can I say, "Into your hands I commit my spirit?"
If I can commit my spirit, body, mind, soul
Let it go to God the Father
Trust that He is in Contorl
Cease striving.  Start trusting.
But I feel out of control.
I need to feel in control.
I need to know I'm going to get better.
I need to know I'm doing all I can and that it's working.
But what can I do? 
How helpless am I?
Does hope begin in recognizing my helplessness?
And learning to trust in God's power?
Teach me, Lord, teach me.



in our weakness, HE is strong xxxxx

Amen to you both... Yes in our weakness He is strong. Recognizing our helplessness and trusting in Jesus is good. When we turn to Him in our turmoil, He will make us strong. Turning to Him heals us. He wants complete control.... I know we want the control.... I love you Beth, keep praying and seeking Him. He hears you. He loves you. I love you too!

so i made my new schedule - my new plan - which involved sleeping from midnight to 9am. Here we are almost 3am and still awake. Is God trying to tell me something? i cant even control my sleep! Tomorrow will not be what i wanted it to be.