Control

Try again.
New schedule, new plan.
sleep right, eat right, exercise
Read the Bible & pray
if I just try harder maybe things will get better
 
Work on my therapy,
take my meds,
keep my doc appointments
talk with my friends.
 
Check, check, check
make a list and get it done.
Try harder, just try harder.
 
Can I let go?
Can I say as Jesus did "Father forgive them for they know not what they do?"
And then can I say, "Into your hands I commit my spirit?"
 
If I can commit my spirit, body, mind, soul
Let it go to God the Father
Trust that He is in Contorl
 
Cease striving.  Start trusting.
But I feel out of control.
I need to feel in control.
I need to know I'm going to get better.
I need to know I'm doing all I can and that it's working.
 
But what can I do? 
How helpless am I?
Does hope begin in recognizing my helplessness?
And learning to trust in God's power?
 
Teach me, Lord, teach me.