Considering a break
I don't know for sure. I may be taking a break from DS. I have messaged many on my firiends list and get absolutely no response. I realize I don't have a lot of time to spend here. I have had so many funerals and weddings to do. I spend 2 days a week visiting hospitals and nursing homes. etc. I come here for some "special time"and I find few of my "friends" ever contact me. Jan777 and Grammydebest are the only two who are faithful at sending me messages or hugs. I spend so much time trying to help others here in my community and when I get here on DS, I try to encourage my friends, comment on threads that I feel I can help with, and I reach out to people here that have never messaged me at all. I have a genuine love and concern for people, that's why I reach out. Maybe I don't tell people what they want to hear but, I tell them the truth and I am honest with the experiences I have had in areas that I comment on. Maybe I am experiencing a form of burn out, I don't know. Many times I tell people I will never abandon them and I don't but, they abandon me, never message, never answer my messages to them, nothing. I went trhough this a few months back and I cancelled some of the friends who never answered me or messaged me. I then got a ralling message back for cancelling them and then, they personally attacked me and said they never did like me or agreed with anything I said anyway. If those "friends" on my friends list don't want to be my friends, then remove me I mean, what's the point? I have been under a lot of stress lately and maybe I should just call it quits for a while. It hurts me when I feel like I have a special friendship with someone here and then, they ignore my messages, never write me and treat me ike I just fell of the corner of the world somewhere. I have never purposely hurt anyone, never got mad at anyone, never ranted at anyone or, never argued with anyone. All I have ever done is tried to help everyone I could. I realize I am one of the oldest guys here. I realize that most younger people don't really want to hear what us "old folks" have to say anyway. I realize I may be a dinosauer to some of the younger people here but, for those who do know me, know that if I am a friend, I will be there for them and have been there for them no matter what. I have never judged them, never looked down on them and I have always treated them with genuine love and respect. I have strived to reach out to those who felt no-one cared, I have shown genuine love to those who have felt unloved and I have been there for those who felt no-one really wanted to listen to them when they were hurting, down, and devastated. I consider friendship a valued possession. It gets frustrating and it kind of hurts when you send out 8 or 10 messages to "friends", and you encourage them, tell them you care and are praying for them. You then sign on and no-one acknowledges your message, your concern for them, your love for them, no response at all . It kind of makes you wonder if they care whether they hear from you or not. Maybe if I wrote down how much I drank last night, How I puked, who I slept with and used all kinds of cuss words and descriptive adjectives of how I felt, they would respond to my messages but, that ain't me. Sure, I have done all those things years ago. My life is an open book on my profile and here in my journal entries. I am a minister, preacher and Pastor but, I don't cram religion down anyone's neck, I don't judge them. I dont rant at them for how they live or what they do. I don't project a "holier than thou" attitude towards anyone, never have. If that makes me different, then I am different. I have no intention of leaving DS but, maybe I need a break or my "friends" need a break from me, either that or I just don't understand all of this. Senility I guess.Excuse me for venting a bit. I usually don't do that but, I guess I am just a bit down, frustrated and tired.