confusing to say the least
Ok so heres the speel, stbx and i had a meeting to get some movement on this snail like divorce. It was cordial,{not at 1st} and we both agreed to some concilation. She is in the process of moving to an apartment in town and starting schooling, college. Goody for her Meanwhile we both agreed to auction off all non personal belongings and the house and 20 acres, to resolve as much debt as possible. Seems all that has been done for 15yrs is just gone in the bang of a gavle and that is very frustrating. Ive been living a lie for 15yrs and now have no idea of what truth really is. Am I wrong for still caring for her, nope. Am I wrong for being envious of her carefree Ill start all over attitude, Yes wish I could feel that way also. Ive probably shared these same feelings in past entries, sorry if Im boring you. I can not find the courage to even think about starting over, afterall, track record or history shows there is no need . Even if I were to manage a somewhat happy life Id surely find a way to make things go wrong. when I first came here I was crying, crying in pain for losing my marriage my wife, now I cry trying to realize why this happens. I have to find out why I hurt the ones I love. or I have to find out why I feel hurt by the ones I love when they walk away. Trischa Yearwood had a song a few years back entitled "WALKAWY JOE" think I might write one titled "STAY AWAY LADIES" a very sweet friend told me that I might ought to not have contact with the stbx, and that is very difficult to do. Just have to figure out how to make her presence in my life as insignificant as I am to her. I know blah blah blah sorry had to get it out somehow
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