Confused and Scared

I have my Laparoscopy next week and im thinking of quitting university this semester or for the year as it's too difficult via distance education (not enough support etc). I feel like I've failed myself something terrible - All I want is to be a Primary school teacher especially after having done it for a year... I moved states to be with my partner which I dont regret but being rejected into uni is a MASSIVE bump in the road and to not be able to possibly ever finish my degree (there's not garantee I'll get in next year either) is hurting me so bad. Im scared for next week and what they'll find and I know there's a possibility they might find nothing at all but I'm scared for if they do.  I hardly leave the house at the moment due to this distance education degree and I think I've actually slumped into depression. My parents think having a year off from uni will do me good and my wonderful partner will do anything to help me achieve my dreams. I just wish I had more will power to get things done - to be independent and to do things. Im fearful of ruining everything - I know how immature this might sound, but sometimes I just wish my parents were around the corner (I havnt seen them in over 3 months).....  I'm so lost I know im not alone, with a wonderful boyfriend, wonderful parents and wonderful friends - but I can't shake this feeling and when I think I have I fall emotionally all over again...

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Im so sorry youre feeling like this... im here if you need to chat
taters90
taters90

thankyou so much for your support, you\'re such a wonderful person =)

I hope you\'re going alright, I\'ve been thinking of you hoping for the best for you and your family - I know things hvant been great but my thoughts have been with you!! xox
KendraRuth
KendraRuth

I understand how you feel, i am the same....so confused and scared....I am having surgery Monday and like you I am scared about what they may find....I hope that you start to feel better and get the answers you need from the surgery...you are in my thoughts and prayers....Just repeat to yourself anytime you feel overwhelmed, lost, or alone....I am not alone, I am loved and have people who support me....I know it sounds crazy but it helps thats what I do....usually I will just sit with my eyes closed taking deep breaths and will think that over and over til I calm down....Best of luck to you...if you need to chat or need anything I am here...XOXO
taters90
taters90

Thankyou so so much =)

I have so many amazing people around me who do love me and have done everything for me its just in my head and I can\'t shake it. I\'ve suffered with depression but thought it was combatted I guess it wasn\'t... Im just scared my emotions will eventually push people away...and then I will be alone.

I have a friend coming over soon to chat with me who goes through much the same or worse and has found a way to combat it. Hopefully this weekend I can have one big breather and think and everything... Im trying to keep on top of uni untill I figure out what I want...
I just hope it\'s soon rather than later..

If I just knew what tuesday would bring it would bring a lot of clarity to me.. I\'ve based my whole career around if I can or if I cant have kids.

My partner is so supportive Im so terrified my emotions will hurt him eventually...


Goodluck with your opertion I wish you so much luck and all the best, you\'re in my thoughts and prayers xoxoxoxo