Confused....and getting more confused...

Ok...so allow me to introduce myself :)  I'm Chelsey Ann, I'm 35 years old, and last summer I was diagnosed with end-stage liver disease.  I went to the ER with what my husband and I thought was a stomach flu, and woke up 3 days later in ICU being told that my liver was failing.  From there, I was told I was going to be sent to a tranplant hospital.  Fine.  This was the scariest thing I ever heard, but my husband was with me as well as my mama and papa from up North, so I was as optimistic as I could be.  Well...then came the search for a transplant hospital to take me.  After endless questions about my lifestyle, drinking (I hadn't actually had a drink in about a year, so this was great news!) and just about everything else they could think of, another doctor came in to do some lab work.  Let the endless blood work begin :)  About an hour later I was informed that they were having a very hard time finding a hospital to take me because I tested positive for alcohol.  Ummm....I had been in the ICU for 3 days, asleep, my husband told them time and time again I did not drink...they more or less called him a liar.  In the end it turns out that the doc who did the labs used an alcohol swab to clean the area before inserting the needle.  I'd say that would make one test positive for alcohol, considering they performed the test the very same way on one of their own nurses and got the same result.  So....on it goes.  I finally arrived at another hospital, out of state, tired, sick, swollen beyond belief.  I was not allowed to eat, I had a cath in place (which is humiliating not to mention not a very pleasant feeling) and thru all this is my husband whom I had only been married to for about a year and a half at this point.  God bless his soul.  I won't go on and on about what occurred for the next 7-8 days,but in the end I was told that in order to get myself on the transplant list I would have to attend a 28 day alcohol rehab, AA meetings, drug/alcohol screenings, and 6 months of after care for alcoholism.  Never once did they consider the fact that someone in my family had a similar problem with thier liver that was not related to drinking.  They didn't ask me about anything other than my drinking history.  I'm not saying I never drank...I did, but some of my doctors now say that though it surely didn't help, there is no reason I should be 35 years old and needing a tranplant for that reason alone.  Quite possibly there is another underlying reason.  I suppose this is not the point anymore.  I have recently finished all of my rehab and after care, I keep my appointments with my doctors, I stick to my sodium restricted diet even though it means I can't enjoy eating most of the things I used to, I work out as much as I'm allowed to.....and I pray.  I suppose at this point I am just confused....by all of the medical jargon, by how I feel (I recently met with a social worker regarding the transplant list and he asked me if I were serious about having a transplant), about how things are going to be after I have surgery....just everything in general.  I also am frustrated because my MELD is only a 12....don't get me wrong....that's better than I hoped for!  But....as the doctors say, with that score I cannot be listed and the list was my safety net.  Never in a million years would I sit here and hope to be sicker.  But it's scary even so.  I hate the way I look and feel sometimes though my husband loves that I put on a few pounds (it's a big adjustment going from being teeny to being normal) and I am the most frustrated with people who just don't understand this condition.  I hate to tell people what my illness is because the first thing they say is "wow...you must have been some big booze hound, huh?".  It's hurtful and I often feel myself crying over it.So....I am hoping this site will help.  I'm so glad I found it and God bless you all and keep you safe and I'm happy to be here.