Confused
I am up this morning having coffee thinking about and missing Sammycat. I am going by to see him today and make sure my plant babies are ok. I realize I am not in any situation 100%. My car trunk is still packed to the gills and somehow my conscience wont allow me to finish.
I started packing stuff here..what i could anyway to go back "home". Neither place is home however i miss my bed and my cat and my quiet morning times. I dont miss being ignored and the lack of enthusium in the so-called relationship.
Rv Joe is going to be hurt. He'll probably drink himself sick. He's a grown man though and Im not willing to take that guilt on.
It was a mistake of him to tell his friends he had planned a proposal and inviting his mother down and asking me in front of her...i felt pressured. My mistake for being hasty as always. The shock i felt should have told me it was too soon.
I feel like a terrible person all around and wish I had a neutral spot to go to but i dont. Today i am headed up to closer to work to see what an apartment would cost. I may even invest in the application fee just to get started.
I need a neutral space to gain clarity...but...if its too much I want to be with me cat.
My emotions change with the wind..im a mess.
Replies
Nah....although it seems like your a mess, this is all a part of personal growth! It's actually a good thing and good things will come out of it.
It will all work out. :)
'Tis an accepted scientific fact that 100% is rare in both labs and physical nature. They happen but they are so rare as to be more fluke than Norm. Take a single step from the physics to the ethereal realms of emotions and character and yowza! ! ! The hundred percenters in those realms are both unbelievable and tyrannical.
It's okay to be a messy mixed bag that isn't 100% anything, my sister-in-healing. Welcome to the human condition. Life gets messy. Live out loud, especially during those inevitable disaster recovery clean-ups. Compost happens.
Steadying support while you find your way through, Pecos Sage. Easy does it through the stormy sees, Cap'n.