Confused

I was abused at the age of 15 and was Mulested from age 4 to 15 and i had a hard time speaking up by now I'm confused on why gender I'm not sure if I'm more into girls the. Boys ... 

After reporting my abuser he had hit me and a police report was done and he left the state in much calm now but I still have dreams flashbacks I feel his still in my life and making an impact ... Noto not that but i found out my uncle likes me and he forced me to have sex and this makes me think maybe this is the life I deserve I can't speak up and tell my mom about it because it will break her hear since she went though it with my one of my uncles which is my dad she doesn't know I know that she was raped as well idk what to do